Leslie: They thought that was a political gesture? No one eat that. Tom, step into my office.
Tom: It's also my office.
Leslie: Whatever.

People in this town don't really like their government officials being activists. Last year a garbageman was suspended for wearing a Livestrong bracelet.

Chimpanzees are very smart, so we had them graduate from college. They like to throw their feces, so we were hoping they would throw their hats. But they just threw their feces.

Leslie Knope: When I go through these doors, I need to be "on", like the White House Press Secretary. Are you ready?
Tom Haverford: Yes.
Leslie Knope: OK! Here we go! (pulls on the door, looks into the camera) It's locked.

I don't want to be overdramatic, but today felt like a hundred years in hell and the absolute worst day of my life.

In a town as old as Pawnee there's a lot of history in every acre. This wooded area is the site of the murder, actually, of Nathanial Bixby Mark. He was a pioneer who was killed by a tribe of Wamapoke Indians. He traded them a baby for the city that is now Indianapolis. They cut his face off and made it into a dreamcatcher. And they made his legs into rainsticks. That's the great thing about Indians, back then, is they used every part of the pioneer.

Ron: I like your hairdo, Leslie.
Leslie: Thank you, Ron.
Ron: It's just like my brother's. He's an officer in the Air Force.

Leslie: Tom Haverford. Boy genius. Smooth like milk chocolate.
Tom: That's kind of a weird way to describe me.

(showing a mural of a Native American chief tied to a tree and about to be shot by a cannon) There are ten murals here in this hallway. This is called "The Trial of Chief Wamapo." It was painted in 1936 and this is Chief Wamapo. He was convicted of crimes against the soldiers. I'm always amazed at his .... quiet dignity right before he's killed by a cannonball.

Mark: Honestly, Leslie, it's going to be a long uphill battle. You are going to be super-annoyed with all the people who want you to fail. There is a sea of red tape, endless road blocks. So, yeah, I don't know. I don't know.
Leslie: Screw it. I'm gonna try to do it anyway.

[after knocking over beer bottles] Did you hear that? Was that the sound of a glass ceiling being shattered?

When I was in sixth grade, I was voted best dressed by 87 votes. And there were only 63 people in my class.