Thursdays 8:30 PM on NBC
Parks-and-recreation

Donna: No offense, Leslie, but I'm not an artist.
Leslie: That's not true, Donna. I've seen your fingernails.
Donna: Um, I pay someone to do this.

Leslie: You can have two legacies. Look at Madonna: great singer, amazing arms.
Tom: Look at O.J. Simpson: Heisman Trophy winner, Naked Gun.

Joe, you work in sewage. Your department literally specializes in crap. You really want to do this?

We really need better security here. We also need better, less offensive history.

The mural that normally resides here is called The Spirit of Pawnee, and it's very controversial. We've had someone throw acid at it, tomato sauce. Someone tried to stab it once.

Ron: Every time she laughs, an angel dies. Even telemarketers avoid her. Her birth was payback for the sins of man. But you know the worst thing about her?
Leslie: She works for the library.
Ron: She works for the library.

Ron: Tammy is a mean person.
Leslie: Come on, Ron. You can do better than that.
Ron: She's a grade-A bitch.
Leslie: There we go.

Are you even listening to yourself? You're defending the library now? Ron, the library. Of all the horrifying miserable things in the world.

So what did you guys talk about? Old times? Oh, I love talking about old times. New times are great too, but there's just something about old times. You know what I mean?

Displaying quotes 406 - 414 of 517 in total