Lily Aldrin Quotes (Page 11)
Season 4, Episode 3: "I Heart NJ"
Lily: Ted, if you murder me and bury me in New Jersey, I'll hunt you forever.
Ted: But if I murder you and bury somewhere else?
Lily: Hey, I'll leave you alone. I'm sure you had your reasons
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 4, Episode 2: "The Best Burger in New York"
Marshall: Just a Burger? Just a burger. Robin, it's so much more than "just a burger." I mean...that first bite—oh, what heaven that first bite is. The bun, like a sesame freckled breast of an angel, resting gently on the ketchup and mustard below, flavors mingling in a seductive pas de deux. And then...a pickle! The most playful little pickle! Then a slice of tomato, a leaf of lettuce and a...a patty of ground beef so exquisite, swirling in your mouth, breaking apart, and combining again in a fugue of sweets and savor so delightful. This is no mere sandwich of grilled meat and toasted bread, Robin. This is God, speaking to us in food.
Lily: And you got our wedding vows off the Internet!?
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Lily: This burger is so good, its like Christmas in my mouth. Meat Christmas.
Ted: Its like an angel from heaven landed in the kitchen of McClaren's... where the chef killed it and ran it through the meat grinder.
Barney: I love this burger so much I want to sew my ass shut
• Rating: 4.8 / 5.0
Lily: But you wanna be an environmental lawyer!
Marshall: Yea, you know I also wanna be a Harlem Globetrotter and get paid in candy
• Rating: 3.0 / 5.0
Season 4, Episode 1: "Do I Know You?"
Barney [after leaving Robin a weird sound on her voicemail]: She wasn't there. I left a voicemail.
Lily: You left a voice, but it wasn't male
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 3, Episode 19: "Everything Must Go"
Ted: Hey, how was your day?
Lily: Today I yelled at a little girl for painting a rainbow.
Ted: A rainbow?! Sounds like that bitch had it coming
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 3, Episode 18: "Rebound Bro"
Robin: Let me ask you something, Ted... why are you so much madder at Barney than me?
Lily: Yeah... she had just as much sex with Barney as Barney had with her!
Robin: You know what, I'm not sure that's true
• Rating: Unrated
Season 3, Episode 14: "The Bracket"
Barney: There are four kinds of women who go to the hardware store by themselves.
Robin: Of course there are.
Barney: Single, recently single, recently divorced, lesbian who will let me watch.
Lily: You can not be more evil.
Barney: Sorry five. Recently widowed.
• Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
Season 3, Episode 11: "The Platinum Rule"
Ted [showing his tramp-stamp]: Say goodbye, kids, 'cause it won't be around much longer.
Lily: Oh, but Ted, if you get rid of the butterfly how's everyone gonna know you're a stripper from Reno with daddy issues?
• Rating: Unrated
Season 3, Episode 10: "The Yips"
Robin [wearing no makeup at the gym]: Shut up. Lily, tell him to shut up.
Lily: I'm sorry, lesbian prison guard. Do we know each other?
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
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Total Quotes: 242
