Lily Aldrin Quotes (Page 13)
Season 3, Episode 3: "Third Wheel"
Marshall: If Lily died, I could ride the tricycle.
Lily: If I died, I'd just come back and haunt your penis.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Ted: They're old sorority sisters.
Lily: Are they Betas? Cause they're all sluts and you can tell them I didn't wanna be in their sorority, anyway!
Ted: They're Kappas.
• Rating: Unrated
Season 3, Episode 1: "Wait for It"
Barney: What's up? Oh, and BTW, I am never speaking to Ted again.
Lily: Really? Not even if, say, butterflies flew out of his ass?
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Gael [massaging Lily]: We carry so much ancient weight in our neck & shoulders. Emotions we should have let go of a long time ago.
Lily: I forgive you, Mom
• Rating: Unrated
Ted: Have fun on your double date.
Lily: For the last time, I'm sorry, there was a lull.
[flashback to the bar]
Gael: Then, we lay on the beach and counted the stars.
Lily: Do you wanna have dinner with me - us?
[flash back to present]
Marshall: There was no lull. You just think he's incredibly hot.
Lily: No, I don't! Not incredibly.
• Rating: Unrated
Barney: It's not possible! You cannot have sex on a windsurfing board!
Lily: How do you know?
Barney: Glad you asked, Lily. I have crafted a list of all vehicles, land-based, aquatic, and airborne, in which / on which it is possible to have sex. Of these 33, I have had sex in / on 31. Windsurfing board: not on the list. Oh, PS in order to hit 33, all I need is bobsled and the Apollo 11 space capsule.
Lily: To get that last one, you'd have to break into the Smithsonian.
Barney: This conversation never happened.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 2, Episode 22: "Something Blue"
Lily: We should come up with a whole new last name.
Marshall: Oh, that's easy; Lily and Marshall Skywalker.
Lily: Lily and Marshall Hasselhoff.
Marshall: Oh, got it. Lily and Marshall Awesome. Have you met our children, our son Totally and our daughter Freaking?
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 2, Episode 20: "Showdown"
Robin [Lily walks out, wearing her wedding dress]: Wow, Lily, you look so beautiful!
Lily: I know, I'm beautiful! I'm a fairy princess! [she lifts her arms up and the dress falls down to her waist, exposing her breasts] I'm too skinny for my dress!!
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 2, Episode 17: "Arrivederci, Fiero"
Marshall: The broken windows?
Lily: We had to make it look realistic!
Marshall: Well why did you break two of them?
Robin: Uhhh...it looked like fun when she did it so I wanted to try.
Marshall: I can't believe this whole time it was you guys; I've been blaming Really Tan Dancing Leotard guy
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Lily: These cigars aren't helping at all.
Robin: Yeah, this was a terrible idea.
Lily: Uggh, now it just smells like a...homeless guy threw up in here.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
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Total Quotes: 243
