How I Met Your Mother

Lily Aldrin Quotes (Page 16)

Lily: He asked her to a party?! Oh my God, are you okay?
Robin: Okay? It's awesome! It's a win-win: Ted got to vent and I don't have to hear it. Maybe after he's done with the talky-talk, he'll come over and I'll get the fun part
 • Rating: Unrated

Robin: Hey Carl, is Ted still here?
Carl: No. Hey Lily! Still single?
Lily: Yes.
Carl: You know, I've poured a lot of free drinks for you over the years. A lot.
Lily: Carl, do you really wanna be with a woman who would trade sex for beer?
Carl: Only if you're into it. [pours a beer] It's on me.
Lily: Thanks!
 • Rating: Unrated

Future Ted: You know, grandma and grandpa don't usually talk about thing that were uncomfortable, emotional, or an any way, real.
Lily: Hi Mr. and Mrs. Mosby. I was just stopping by to pick up some of my things.
Mrs. Mosby: Yes, we were so sorry to hear about your, you know the b... the b... well.
Marshall: Lily calling off the wedding and dumping me?
Lily: Me begging Marshall to take me back and him rejecting me?
Mrs. Mosby: I love your hair
 • Rating: Unrated

Future Ted: The thing about a hangover is that everyone has their own special remedy.
Waiter: Morning, guys! What can I getcha?
Lily: Shhhhhh.....bring me the dirtiest, greasiest Tuna Melt you got. And a milkshake.
Waiter: For you, sir?
Ted: Uggh....gravy.
Waiter: Do you want that gravy on something?
Ted: ...Surprise me.
Robin: I'd take you with gravy if my boyfriend wasn't sitting right here, hee hee! Just kidding, I'm good!
Lily: What are you so chirpy about?
Ted: She's still drunk from last night.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lily: So what's this big, beautiful, romantic gesture?
Ted: I am going to make her...a mix CD... No, I'm kidding. I got a plan
 • Rating: Unrated

Lily: There are certain things in life where you know it's a mistake but you don't really know it's a mistake because the only way to know that it really is a mistake is to make that mistake and go, "Yup, that was a mistake". So really, the bigger mistake would be to not make the mistake because then you'll go about your whole life not knowing whether it was a mistake or not
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Lily: Do you think we look young enough to blend in at a high school?
Barney: Please, I'm ageless. Scherbatsky just needs a good night's sleep and you've got statutory written all over your body.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lily: Your job is very simple. At the wedding, do not sleep with anyone even remotely related to me.
Barney: Yea. Lily, you know I can't promise that
 • Rating: Unrated

Scooter: You're breaking up with me?
Lily: There is so much I still want to do. I want to travel, live overseas, as an artist, maybe have a lesbian relationship, plus I think I was just dating you because you look a little like Kurt Cobain.
Scooter: I can change; I can look more like Kurt Cobain
 • Rating: Unrated

Lily & Robin: (to Barney about their prom dresses) Alright, what do you think?
Barney: Horrible!
Lily: (disgusted) You'd make such a great dad.
Barney: It's so classy and nice; you're going to stick out like a sore thumb. Have you seen how the kids are dressing these days? With the Ashley, and the Lindsay and the Paris. They all dress like strippers. It's go ho or go home.
Lily: Well we have to get in. I have to see this band because we have to make a decision by Monday because I'm getting married in 71 days and we still...
Robin: (cutting off Lily's panicked rant) Shhh shhhh. Sweetie, let's focus on one thing at a time, okay? Right now you just have to dress like a whore and that's it.
Lily: Alright.
Barney: That's the spirit. Now ladies, slut up!
 • Rating: Unrated

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