How I Met Your Mother

Lily Aldrin Quotes (Page 9)

Lily: Barney I've had Shelly set aside for three years
Barney: Dude, Ted was not missing out. She's brainy and annoying. Kind of boring in the sack. Oh I guess she would have been perfect for Ted. Whoops.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lily: That's it. I'm coming out of retirement for one. Last. Breakup.
Ted and Marshall: YES!
 • Rating: Unrated

Marshall: What'd you get?
Lily: I got squat.
Marshall: What? I thought I saw you take one.
Lily: I did. It's called Squat.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lily [about breaking people up]: I've gone legit I'm done with that racket, I'm now a matchmaker
Ted: Set me up with someone
Lily: Woh, I'm just starting out
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Ted: They're killing each other!
Lily: They love each other.
Ted: Barney and Robin love each other, but they're not Barney and Robin anymore. They're the fat guy and the old lady.
Marshall: My favorite '70s detective show!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Marshall: I don't care if the dishes are done, if you care, you do it!
Lily: Well I don't care if you have an orgasms, if you care, you do it!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Lily [to Robin and Barney]: We're kind of on a double date with Pey and Shey, and we wouldn't want you guys to feel like a fifth and sixth wheel
 • Rating: Unrated

Barney: The US Navy discovered aliens at the bottom of the ocean and for reasons I can't explain, they selected Robin and I to lead the expedition
Lily: That sounds like stuff you say to women when you're trying to get rid of them
Marshall: That's exactly what is sounds like, but if it's true that sounds totally awesome

 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Barney: Guess who got four tickets to the the origins of chewbaca exhibit?
Lily: Why?
Barney: No, I said who
Lily: I heard you
Robin: Isn't it a little early in our relationship to be doing things that would end our relationship?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ted [about Barney and Robin]: You do realize that they were lying to you
Lily: No, they don't realize that they weren't lying
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

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