Lily: Your job is very simple. At the wedding, do not sleep with anyone even remotely related to me.Barney: Yea. Lily, you know I can't promise that
• Show: How I Met Your Mother • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Scooter: You're breaking up with me?
Lily: There is so much I still want to do. I want to travel, live overseas, as an artist, maybe have a lesbian relationship, plus I think I was just dating you because you look a little like Kurt Cobain.
Scooter: I can change; I can look more like Kurt Cobain
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Lily & Robin: (to Barney about their prom dresses) Alright, what do you think?
Barney: Horrible!
Lily: (disgusted) You'd make such a great dad.
Barney: It's so classy and nice; you're going to stick out like a sore thumb. Have you seen how the kids are dressing these days? With the Ashley, and the Lindsay and the Paris. They all dress like strippers. It's go ho or go home.
Lily: Well we have to get in. I have to see this band because we have to make a decision by Monday because I'm getting married in 71 days and we still...
Robin: (cutting off Lily's panicked rant) Shhh shhhh. Sweetie, let's focus on one thing at a time, okay? Right now you just have to dress like a whore and that's it.
Lily: Alright.
Barney: That's the spirit. Now ladies, slut up!
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Lily [to nerds]: Hey boys, wanna take two hot girls to the prom?
Nerd: Sorry, we don't have money.
Robin: It's free.
Nerds: Okay then
• Show: How I Met Your Mother • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Barney: Guys, I just tasted an amazing caterer.
Lily: We already have a caterer.
Barney: Oh right! You're getting married. [to Ted] You see what I did there?
• Show: How I Met Your Mother • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Lily: Even if a dinosaur should poke his head out of my butt and consume this coffee table, I need you to roll with it.
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Lily: Crap! Band! We forgot a band! It's just gonna be silence and then people chewing
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Robin: And look, you can still travel, you can still paint, and as far as your lesbian experience. [kisses Lily] Happy?
Lily: Yeah. So, field hockey, huh?
Robin: Shut up
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Barney: We'll just sneak in.
Marshall: We are not sneaking in to a high school prom.
Lily: Yes we are, it's the only way.
Ted: You are getting on board with Barney's idea? Man, you really have snapped
• Show: How I Met Your Mother • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Lily: You know, Barney, for anyone else, this would be a new low but sadly for you, it's just a new middle
• Show: How I Met Your Mother • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Total Quotes: 176
