Robin: Guys are like the subway. You miss one, another comes along in five minutes.Lily: Unless it's the end of the night, then you get on anything!
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Random Guy: So where are you from, heaven?
Robin: That's right, I'm a ghost. I died fifteen years ago, kinda like that pick-up line.
Lily: Hey-Oh!
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Lily: I guess I just wanted to throw this net back into the ocean and see how many fish I could catch. So far one, one gay dolphin
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Marshall: Back off, hombre. I'm not that afraid to fight you. You wanna test this, guy? Be my guest.
Lily: Marshall, he's gay.
Marshall: Oh, thank God, I've never been in a fight before
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Carl: Compliments of that guy. [lifts drink towards Robin and Lily]
Lily: Really? Sweet.
Carl: Oh, for you, it's $6
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Marshall: Now the kid has got to get to work, and the kid is not to be disturbed. Repeat after me: I will not have sex with Marshall.
Ted and Lily: I will not have sex with Marshall
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Barney: What does Carlos have that I don't?
Robin: A date tonight?
Lily: Ooh, stop the tape, rewind, play it again!
Robin: [makes rewind sound] A date tonight?
Barney: I'm not sure I like her
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Ted: She's still talking to Carlos... I can still win this, it's not over!
Lily: Okay, buddy, time for the tough talk... Robin seems great. But let's look at the facts, you wanna get married. And right now there's a million women in New York looking for exactly you... but Robin ain't one of them
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Lily: Hey I'm just sitting here. Wearing my ring. Me beautiful ring. Kinda makes wearing other stuff seem wrong... my shirt. Kinda don't wanna wear my shirt any more. Or my underwear. Oh, that's right, I'm not wearing any.
Marshall: (Stops working and looks at Lily) No underwear?
Lily: Not even slightly.
Ted: Guys. Boundaries
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Ted: I just gotta bump into her somewhere. Now if only I knew her schedule, I could arrange a chance encounter.
Lily: That's great, Ted. You'll be the most casual stalker ever
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Total Quotes: 176
