Ted [pointing to a map of NYC and referring to places to avoid Stella]: Red areas, places to avoid. White areas are safe. Blue is water.Lily: That is just ridiculous!
Robin: Well, water is blue
• Show: How I Met Your Mother • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Marshall: There's no meat.
Lily: There's no alcohol.
Marshall: It gets worse—I am 90% sure that guy you were talking with used to be lead singer of the Spin Doctors
• Show: How I Met Your Mother • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Robin: Stella's not gonna let you keep half of this junk.
Ted: Why wouldn't she?
Lily: Oh, Ted, oh, sweetie. Okay, here's the thing that guys only learn after they move in with a woman. All of your stuff is stupid
• Show: How I Met Your Mother • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Robin: I'm moving to Japan. It took me a half hour to pack.
Lily: A half hour?
Robin: Well, it would have taken me 20 minutes, but a friend called me in tears
• Show: How I Met Your Mother • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Lily: You hated that job.
Robin: It wasn't that bad.
Lily: What did they make you call Tropical Storm Hector when they said it was raining "cats and dogs?"
Robin: A furricane.
Marshall: Hey, Ted, "Rock Me Like a Furricane"
• Show: How I Met Your Mother • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Lily: Ted, if you murder me and bury me in New Jersey, I'll hunt you forever.
Ted: But if I murder you and bury somewhere else?
Lily: Hey, I'll leave you alone. I'm sure you had your reasons
• Show: How I Met Your Mother • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Marshall: Just a Burger? Just a burger. Robin, it's so much more than "just a burger." I mean...that first bite—oh, what heaven that first bite is. The bun, like a sesame freckled breast of an angel, resting gently on the ketchup and mustard below, flavors mingling in a seductive pas de deux. And then...a pickle! The most playful little pickle! Then a slice of tomato, a leaf of lettuce and a...a patty of ground beef so exquisite, swirling in your mouth, breaking apart, and combining again in a fugue of sweets and savor so delightful. This is no mere sandwich of grilled meat and toasted bread, Robin. This is God, speaking to us in food.
Lily: And you got our wedding vows off the Internet!?
• Show: How I Met Your Mother • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Lily: This burger is so good, its like Christmas in my mouth. Meat Christmas.
Ted: Its like an angel from heaven landed in the kitchen of McClaren's... where the chef killed it and ran it through the meat grinder.
Barney: I love this burger so much I want to sew my ass shut
• Show: How I Met Your Mother • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Lily: But you wanna be an environmental lawyer!
Marshall: Yea, you know I also wanna be a Harlem Globetrotter and get paid in candy
• Show: How I Met Your Mother • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Barney [after leaving Robin a weird sound on her voicemail]: She wasn't there. I left a voicemail.
Lily: You left a voice, but it wasn't male
• Show: How I Met Your Mother • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Total Quotes: 176
