Lily: Why would I want to change anything? This place is great, except you don't have a TV.Barney: [Points to wall] See that wall? [Turns on TV] 300 inch flatscreen! They only sell them in Japan but I know a guy. They ship it over in a tugboat like freakin' King Kong!
Lily: It hurts my eyes...
Barney: Yeah, that doesn't go away
• Show: How I Met Your Mother • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Barney: Look around you, Lily! You are in the heart of Bachelor Country. And as a woman, you are an illegal immigrant here. Now, you could try to apply for a sex visa, but that only lasts twelve hours...fourteen if you qualify for multiple entry, heh!
Lily: Ewwww....is something some lame, judgemental chick would say, but I say 'gimme multiple high-fives'!
Barney: Wow, you really are desperate.
Lily: I really am.
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Ted: Is that a toilet in your kitchen?
Robin: Or a stove in your bathroom?
Lily: Oh...that's not just a stove. That's a stoveinkerator! A combination of a stove, oven, sink and refrigerator. Stoveinkerator! Isn't that futuristic?!
Ted: God I hope not
• Show: How I Met Your Mother • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Lily: He asked her to a party?! Oh my God, are you okay?
Robin: Okay? It's awesome! It's a win-win: Ted got to vent and I don't have to hear it. Maybe after he's done with the talky-talk, he'll come over and I'll get the fun part
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Robin: Hey Carl, is Ted still here?
Carl: No. Hey Lily! Still single?
Lily: Yes.
Carl: You know, I've poured a lot of free drinks for you over the years. A lot.
Lily: Carl, do you really wanna be with a woman who would trade sex for beer?
Carl: Only if you're into it. [pours a beer] It's on me.
Lily: Thanks!
• Show: How I Met Your Mother • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Future Ted: You know, grandma and grandpa don't usually talk about thing that were uncomfortable, emotional, or an any way, real.
Lily: Hi Mr. and Mrs. Mosby. I was just stopping by to pick up some of my things.
Mrs. Mosby: Yes, we were so sorry to hear about your, you know the b... the b... well.
Marshall: Lily calling off the wedding and dumping me?
Lily: Me begging Marshall to take me back and him rejecting me?
Mrs. Mosby: I love your hair
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Future Ted: The thing about a hangover is that everyone has their own special remedy.
Waiter: Morning, guys! What can I getcha?
Lily: Shhhhhh.....bring me the dirtiest, greasiest Tuna Melt you got. And a milkshake.
Waiter: For you, sir?
Ted: Uggh....gravy.
Waiter: Do you want that gravy on something?
Ted: ...Surprise me.
Robin: I'd take you with gravy if my boyfriend wasn't sitting right here, hee hee! Just kidding, I'm good!
Lily: What are you so chirpy about?
Ted: She's still drunk from last night.
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Lily: So what's this big, beautiful, romantic gesture?
Ted: I am going to make her...a mix CD... No, I'm kidding. I got a plan
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Lily: There are certain things in life where you know it's a mistake but you don't really know it's a mistake because the only way to know that it really is a mistake is to make that mistake and go, "Yup, that was a mistake". So really, the bigger mistake would be to not make the mistake because then you'll go about your whole life not knowing whether it was a mistake or not
• Show: How I Met Your Mother • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Lily: Do you think we look young enough to blend in at a high school?
Barney: Please, I'm ageless. Scherbatsky just needs a good night's sleep and you've got statutory written all over your body.
• Show: How I Met Your Mother • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Total Quotes: 176
