Lindsay: Did it ever occur to you that maybe Warden Gentiles likes her?
Michael: Likes her what?
Lindsay: No, I mean, likes her. Like, is attracted to her.
Michael: Who's the "her" in that sentence?
Lindsay: Mom. Warden Gentiles likes Mom.
Michael: Her?

Michael: You guys got these jackets on inside out?
Rita: Yeah, that way you see the label.
Lindsay: I mean, that's what you're paying for, right? It's a great statement on fashion.

(Talking about Rita)
Michael: You know she's amazing. You know she was in the Olympics?!
Narrator: She wasn't.
Lindsay: She's that Rita Leeds? Wasn't she on the cover of Newsweek?
Narrator: No.
Michael: Yes.

Bob Loblaw: Can you catalog for me the various ways you've been promised to be fulfilled whether or not said promise was made explicit?
Lindsay: You want me to be explicit?
Bob Loblaw: Yes, but I will be needing to get off in four minutes.
Lindsay: Well, let's see if I can't hit that target for you.

Lindsay: You haven't had a serious relationship since your wife, and you guys weren't even speaking towards the end.
Michael: A lot of that was the coma.
Lindsay: Yeah, I've heard your side of it.

(Michael arrives at the office where Lindsay rides up to him on a photocopier)
Lindsay: We did it, Mikey! We're super rich again! And I'm gonna buy a car, the Volvo.
(She hands him a piece of paper from the photocopier)
Michael: N ... Lindsay, you're not going to start spending money. And this is not a Volvo.
Lindsay: Oh, that's from sitting on the copier.
(She grabs the sheet back)

Gob: Well, gee, I didn't think the woman I'd be checking out at spring break would be mom.
Buster: She's better looking than the whores you date!
Gob: Don't call my escorts whores.
Buster: Mom still got it!
Gob: I don't date whores!
Lindsay: Stop it! Stop it! This objectification of women has to stop!
Michael: It's just mom and whores.

Lindsay: This pig, Phillip Litt is out there asking girls to take their tops off...it's an outrage.
Gob: Ha, well of course you feel that way, you're jealous; you're a surfboard...but I do agree he is a pig...

So the devout, religious family... they're the bad guys?

Michael: You've got to be the laziest person in the world.
Lindsay: If you weren't all the way on the other side of the room, I'd slap your face.

Lindsay: Can't you at least come over and Dustbuster or something?
Lupe: I no does Buster anymore!

Lindsay: Tobias moving out hasn't been easy.
Michael: For any of us.
Lindsay: You didn't even notice he'd gone, did you?
Michael: I did notice we'd stop Tivoing the Christopher Lowell show.

Arrested Development Quotes

Oh, mercy me! I forgot that we were in the colonies.

Mrs. Featherbottom

There's no "I" in "win"!

Steve Holt