Lindsay: We would like you to tutor our daughter.
Tobias: Now, of course, we are having a bit of a cash flow problem. But I assure you; if you bring our little girl's grades up, I will pack your sweet pink mouth with so much ice cream, you'll be the envy of every Jerry and Jane on the block!
George Michael: But we're the only house on the block.
(Camera shows a shot of the Bluth house in the middle of nowhere)
Tobias: Perhaps we should get somebody else.

Lindsay: Okay, so you guys don't want to work? Fine. I've got a stair car full of Mexican laborers that would love a day's work.
Lupe's Uncle: Laborers? I'm a professor of American studies at the University of Mexico City.

Michael: Where are these people going?
Lindsay: I'm taking them out to lunch.
Michael: Did you reserve a restaurant? Are they taking their own cars?
Lindsay: Oh, they'll figure something out.
Michael: No, they won't. You don't have a plan? I told you these people are sheep, and they'll wander off and you'll lose the sheep. You've lost the sheep.

Ted: We, uh, finished the proposal and, uh, we're gonna order some pizza. Um, we were wondering if we could have two toppings, on account of it's Saturday.
Lindsay: Well, he's not here, and since I'm in charge, I'm taking you all out to lunch.

Michael: Well, you have a job now, and since Kitty's gone, you can earn your check by answering the phone.
Lindsay: Michael, it's Friday. Everybody coasts on Friday.
Michael: It's actually Saturday.
Lindsay: Finally. I'm out of here. I'll see you Tuesday.

Michael: Lindsay, how can you just come in here and ask me for a paycheck?
Lindsay: Well, I usually ask Kitty, but she's not around, and you're the only one here that I've ever seen before.

Lindsay: Dad hired me out of college.
Michael: You quit college.
Lindsay: Yeah, well, I had a job. What was the point?

Well, you and I have different management styles. I believe work should be fun, and you try to crush people's spirits. What's next, Michael? Are you going to make dancing illegal? Is this the tiny town from Footloose?

Tobias: Lindsay, say something to scare me.
Lindsay: F*** me.
Tobias: Nope, nothing. Thanks for trying, though.

Lindsay: Hey, look, it's not coming from me. It's George Michael. He told me. I think he wants a mother.
Michael: Well, that's ridiculous. He's got you. He's got our mother. You'd think that would turn him off the entire concept.

(Maeby walks down to see her parents fighting)
Lindsay: I'm saying everytime something starts to go well for you, you blow it.
Tobias: Nothing has ever gone well for me and you know it!
Lindsay: That's my point, you ... (sees Maeby) ... handsome cowboy, you.
Tobias: Oh, great. And now you're mocking me. You selfish c... (sees Maeby) ... ountry-music-loving lady.

(to George Michael) We're all just going to have a more normal arrangement. I'm going to sleep with my daughter, and you're going to sleep with my husband.

Arrested Development Quotes

She sometimes takes a little pack of mayonnaise and she'll squirt it in her mouth all over. And then she'll take an egg and kind of...mmmm! She calls it a 'mayon-egg.' Are you okay?

George Michael

Oh, mercy me! I forgot that we were in the colonies.

Mrs. Featherbottom