The Simpsons

Lisa Simpson Quotes (Page 11)

(Homer arrives home after his first day on the "new" job.)
Marge: So, how was your first day at your new job?
Homer: Oh, it was great! Flew to Tulsa on the company jet. Did my job in a way consistent with I what I already told you. (Nervously) Because that's what you do... when you have a job.
Lisa: I'm so proud of you, Dad!
Homer: Stop peppering me with questions!
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: I'm sorry Lisa, but I won't live under the same roof as a member of the liberal media!
Lisa: You'll have to excuse him, he's been watching a lot of Fox News.
Homer: Did you know that every day Mexican gays sneak into this country and unplug our brain-dead ladies?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Lisa: One thing I've always wondered How can Fox News be so conservative when the Fox Network keeps airing raunchy shows? They don't fit together.
(Lisa then proceeds to flips channels between Fox News and Fox Network until Kent Brockman takes the remote control away from her.)
Kent: Fox deliberately runs shows that will earn them huge fines which are then funneled through the F.C.C. straight to the Republican Party. Everybody in the media knows it, but no one has the guts to say it.
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: Hey suckers, check it out! Marge is taking me to ride dirt bikes at the cemetery.
Lisa: You're going to the dentist too, Dad.
Homer: (Thoughtfully) Why the cemetery? I wondered. But my dreams were too strong.
 • Rating: Unrated

Marge: (to Homer) We have to take in Mr. Brockman. He wouldn't be in this mess if you hadn't dumped coffee on his lap.
Homer: Oh, sure! Put down a simple guy like me who works hard and plays by the rules!
Bart: Dad, you barely go to work at all.
Lisa: And you're constantly flouting the law.
Homer: I'm willing to change my mind and that makes me great.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

(Homer picks up the bomb which has 7 seconds left till it blows)
Homer: Oh a thermos! And it has 7 cups of coffee left.
(The bomb changes to 6)
Homer: No wait, 6.
Lisa: Dad! That's a bomb!
Homer: Ah! You take it!
 • Rating: Unrated

Bart: I might be able to stop them, but I need a schematic of Jimbo's house!
Lisa: Jimbo drew a couple pictures of his house in second grade, but I can't vouch for their accuracy. The teacher gave them a frowny face.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lisa: I've got something! The sixth grade security camera shows three empty desks.
Principal Skinner: Enhance!
(Camera zooms in on desk with "Skinner Stinks" carved into it)
Principal Skinner: De-hance! De-hance!
 • Rating: Unrated

Milhouse: Lisa, if I don't make it back, there's a letter in my locker I want you to read.
Lisa: I've already read it.
Principal Skinner: We've all read it.
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: There sure is a lot of corn in this parking lot.
Lisa: Dad, we're in the MAZE!
 • Rating: Unrated

Are we missing your favorite quote from "?" Submit it here and get points for adding quotes!