Excellent! (tents fingers) What am I doing? Untent! Untent!

Homer: I'm sorry, Homer Junior. You'll occupy an idealized place in my heart that no one can ever quite fill.
Bart: Therapy, please.
Lisa: Me too.

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Willie: You want me to carve it into a thank-o-lantern?
Lisa: No, this is good.
Willie: Well, this knave's got to carve something.

Lisa: Bart, why is the dad I've always wished for creeping me out?
Bart: I don't know, cause you're incapable of experiencing joy?
Lisa: Point taken.

Bart must not be judged by these kids. But by a jury...of kids, mostly these kids...there's only so many kids.

Lisa: Why does someone become a bully?
Jimbo: Neglect.
Dolph: Abuse.
Kearney: I'm a Cubs fan.

Milhouse: I can't wait to use your moves on Lisa.
Lisa: Eww. On every level, eww.

Bart: All you need to know is that I'm a politeness monster who eats "pleases" and farts "thank yous", ma'am.
Lisa: I'm exactly the kind of kid he's pretending to be.

All my extra credit points are like frequentflier miles on a bankrupt airline.

I love that dog...but that is one long, stupid name.

T-Rex: T.V.? We don't own a t.v.
Lisa: I didn't know that was an option.

Lisa: But I promised Paul McCartney I wouldn't eat meat.
Lunchlady Doris: And I promised Paul McCartney I wouldn't sleep with John.

The Simpsons Quotes

Larry: What you got riding on this?
Homer: My daughter.
Larry: What a gambler!

Maggie? Oh, you must be sick. Let's see, what's old Dr. Washburn prescibe? Do you have dropsy? The grippe? Scofula? The vapors? Jungle rot? Dandy fever? Poor man's gout? Housemaid's knee? Climatic poopow? The staggers? Dum-dum fever?

</i> Abe