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The-simpsons

Homer: Do you really need all these Kurt Vonnegut novels?
Lisa: "They self-reference each other!"

Lisa: Sometimes i wish strangling your kid was still legal.
Marge: Not since they passed Homer's Law.

You can always go back to Michigan. They're still under Sharia law.

I got the idea from every movie ever made.

Everybody knows you got the idea for the series after an explosion at a crumpet factory knocked you off a double-decker bus. How could that be made-up?

Lisa: They're using pancakes as spoons.
Marge: Ooh let's see what else they do wrong.

Now prepare to take an incredible journey across the room.

Lisa: You're gonna regret the day you were born.
Bart: I already do, it's too close to Christmas.

Aunt Selma is treating a mob boss like an ordinary tax payer!

You're as pure as the ether that puts you to sleep.

Prepare to have everything you knew about milk cans challenged!

Great Raymondo: This is a house of magic.
Lisa: Sounds like most of it is owned by the bank.
Great Raymondo: But the rest of it is magic.

Displaying quotes 25 - 36 of 438 in total

The Simpsons Quotes

"No one ever told me I mattered before."

Meg

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!

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