The Simpsons

Sundays 8:00 PM on FOX
The simpsons
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T-Rex: T.V.? We don't own a t.v.
Lisa: I didn't know that was an option.

Lisa: But I promised Paul McCartney I wouldn't eat meat.
Lunchlady Doris: And I promised Paul McCartney I wouldn't sleep with John.

Lisa: Willie, I love your chaps.
Willie: Me pants are ripped out.

Lisa: I hope you're happy. You all just wasted your time working your way into an after school class.
Bart, Milhouse, Nelson, and Ralph: Aahhh!

Moe: And that's that. Another story in the classic infallible three-act structure. Good enough for Aristotle, good enough for The Simpsons.
Lisa: Mr. Szyslak I have feeling there's going to be one more act to this story.
Moe: Well I'm not hanging around for that. Pfftt. Four acts.

It's so diverse. I've died and gone to a PBS kid's show.

Lisa: I pick up books like you pick up beers.
Homer: Then you have a serious reading problem.

I have a thousand friends! And only eight of them are Milhouse!

Homer: Do you really need all these Kurt Vonnegut novels?
Lisa: "They self-reference each other!"

Lisa: Sometimes i wish strangling your kid was still legal.
Marge: Not since they passed Homer's Law.

You can always go back to Michigan. They're still under Sharia law.

I got the idea from every movie ever made.

Displaying quotes 25 - 36 of 446 in total

The Simpsons Quotes

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!

Wow, now I see why they call you Miss Hoover. You must have been vacuuming for an hour.

Bart