Sometimes the right thing and the hard thing are the same thing. I read that on a tea bag.

So I'll go to Floyd's wedding alone. Maybe I'll just lean into it and bring a cat and a baby stroller.

This is a public park named after Ron Artest.

God, three weddings in one day, I'm going to be in Spanx for 12 hours. My elastic line is gonna get infected again.

I'm coming alone, Cerie, but I would still like two meals.

You could have married him mom. Laura Linney could have played you in the HBO original movie Moon Wives!

Different times! Octomom!


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Liz: I know this is a difficult time for you, but word of advice: if the will says that you have to spend the night in a haunted house, you better hope that everyone else there are black people or sluts.

[reading Tracy's letter] I will always be your ... oh no, I'm white, I can't read that word.

[to Jenna] What's going on? Why are you being so happy and nice? Are you soaking your tampons in vodka again?

We have to tell Jenna that we can't do her Kardashian sketch because Jack is bro's with Lamar Odom.

30 Rock Quotes

Oh, poor baby. Can't hack it in the big city? Gonna move to the bay area now, pretend that that was your dream the whole time? Have fun always carrying a light sweater.


I wanna roll my eyes right now, but the doctor said if I keep doing it my ocular muscles might spasm and eject my eyeballs.