30 Rock

Liz Lemon Quotes (Page 40)

Liz: [to the writers] I didn't say anything about you guys that I wouldn't have said to your faces.
 • Rating: Unrated

Liz: Mr. Donaghy, I sincerely apologize; I'm so embarrassed.
Jack: Well, I guess you must be embarrassed if you're hiding in the storage closet.
Liz: This is my office.
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Jenna: Okay, that was beyond insulting. The guy doesn't even know my name. Why do you love him so much?
Liz: No, no, no, no, no. I don't love him, Donaghy loves him. That's it. Pete can't stand him, Toofer thinks he's an idiot, even Cerie says he's a pig.
Jenna: Frank likes his movies.
Liz: Yeah, Frank also loves that video of the monkey smelling his own butt ... Nobody wants Tracy Jordan here, except for certified non-genius Jack Donaghy.
 • Rating: Unrated

Liz: We gotta do something.
Tracy: Let's crash my car to see if the airbags go off.
Liz: Let me explain what I'm talking about first!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Liz: How you doin'?
Jenna: There is no way that I am working with that guy. Do you know that he once got arrested for walking naked through LaGuardia?
Liz: Yeah.
Jenna: And that he once fell asleep on Ted Danson's roof?
Liz: Yeah, Tracy has mental health issues.
Jenna: He bit Dakota Fanning on the face.
Liz: When you hear his version, she was kinda askin' for it.
 • Rating: Unrated

Liz: Whoa, excuse me, there's a line, buddy.
Man: There's two lines.
Liz: No. No, there's one line; we're in it.
Man: I'm just getting a hot dog.
Liz: We're all getting hot dogs! What, you think there's two lines and we're all in this line? You're the only genius who got in the other line? Can you believe this guy?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Liz: Where's Gary?
Jack: Gary's dead. I'm Jack Donaghy. New VP of development for NBC/GE/Universal/Kmart.
Pete: Oh, we own Kmart now?
Jack: No. Why are you dressed like we do?
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Liz: I'm not like these girls, Tracy. I don't have sex for money!
Stripper: Neither do we!
Tracy: Neither do they! [mouthing silently] Yes they do!
 • Rating: Unrated

Jack: Alfredo. 2 p.m.
Liz: I'm not dressed for that.
Jack: You're dressed for Burger King. Should we make it Burger King?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jack: Are you familiar with the GE tri-vection oven?
Liz: I don't cook very much.
Jack: Sure... I gotcha. New York, third-wave feminist, college-educated, single and pretending to be happy about it, over-scheduled, undersexed, you buy any magazine that says "healthy body image" on the cover, and every two years you take up knitting for ... a week.
Pete: That is dead on!
Liz: What, are you going to guess my weight now?
Jack: You don't want me to do that.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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