I won! Nobody beats the Liz!

I'm negotiating against you, you magnificent bastard.

Jenna: I need someone who has so little going on in her life, she lets me get all the attention.
Liz: And I need someone in my life who doesn't listen to a word I say.
Jenna: Thank you. I just got it cut.

Man, do my feet hurt in heels sometimes...and other things women talk about.

I wish my first roommate hadn't died of old age!

Jenna: What were you even doing at that bachelor party?
Liz: Derek thought I was a guy and I didn't want to ruin what was happening between us.

Liz: What are those?
Jenna: Leaches. They're good for your skin, and I've lost tons of blood weight.

Criss: You don't use the tab closers on cereal boxes.
Liz: If you think those are doing anything to seal in freshness, you are living in a fantasy world, pal.

Liz: And now he's inserting himself into this.
Criss: Well that's what she said but...

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