Lois Griffin Quotes
Joe: Hey neighbors, where's your boat?
Lois: We didn't take the boat, we took the mystery box. Hop in!
- Permalink: Hey neighbors, where's your boat? We didn't take the boat, we ...
Lois: Meg, Could you please change Stewie for me?
Meg: Fine. But if a boy calls, please don't tell them I'm wrist deep in poopy
- Permalink: Meg, Could you please change Stewie for me? Fine. But if a boy...
Peter: What day is it?
Peter: Oh my God! Oh my God! I'm late!
Lois: If you spent less time fixing your hair...
Peter: No Lois, I'm late, late. Do we still have that pregnancy test?
Lois: Are you insane? You can't have a baby.
Peter: Well I don't have a lot of options. I'm Catholic. I thought you'd be happy
- Permalink: What day is it? Thursday. Oh my God! Oh my God! I'm late! ...
Meg: I don't get it, mom, if you're so mad at dad for wrecking your show, why did you come to opening night?
Lois: I came because I love the theater. I mean, if I just came here to enjoy watching your father be humiliated when this asinine spectacle of his is ridiculed by everyone in town, what kind of person would I be?
Chris: A bitch
- Permalink: I don't get it, mom, if you're so mad at dad for wrecking your s...
Death: What did you make this hot chocolate with? Crap?
Lois: If you want me to make you another, just say so.
Death: I just thought you would make it with milk. Instead of crap
- Permalink: What did you make this hot chocolate with? Crap? If you want m...
Doctor: This doesn't look good, no this doesn't look good at all.
Lois: Oh no.
Doctor: My nephew drew a picture of me. It doesn't look a thing like me. Look at the nose, it's all wrong!
- Permalink: This doesn't look good, no this doesn't look good at all. Oh n...
Death: You gotta kill the kids from Dawson's Creek
Peter: I knew it! As soon as that show came on the air I said, "I'm gonna be the one who has to kill 'em."
Lois: It's true, he really said that
- Permalink: You gotta kill the kids from Dawson's Creek I knew it! As soon...
Lois: Peter, who cares how much it is? You've just got the most important bill of all. A clean bill of health.
Peter: Jeez, Lois. How long have you been waiting to crack out that gem?
- Permalink: Peter, who cares how much it is? You've just got the most import...
Lois: I'm so worried about your father.
Chris: You mean because he's a borderline alcoholic?
Lois: No. Mommy's made peace with that.
Chris: Oh, cause he's got a lump on his booby!
Lois: Chris, that's a terrible word! "Booby."
Meg: Mom, Debbie Miller's dad had a lump on his breast, and he turned out okay.
Lois: Really? Who's Debbie Miller?
Meg: A girl I just made up
- Permalink: I'm so worried about your father. You mean because he's a bord...