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Family-guy

Lois: I know you don't like broccoli Stewie, but you'll thank me when you grow up big and strong like your father.
Stewie: A compelling argument. You've swayed me, woman. Mmmm. That is good. Oh I feel stronger already. Mmmm it's good tasting and good for you

Lois: Stewie, you can't leave the table until you finish your vegetables.
Stewie: Well then, I shall sit here until one of us expires, and you've got a good forty years on me woman!

Lois: Sweetie, it's broccoli. It's good for you. Now open up for the airplane.
Stewie: Never! Damn the broccoli, damn you, and damn the Wright brothers!

Lois: Honey, it's not going to go away just because you don't like it.
Stewie: Well then, my goal becomes clear. The broccoli must die!

Lois: Peter, what did you promise me last night?
Peter: I wouldn't drink at the stag party.
Lois: And what did you do?
Peter: Drank at the stag pa-woah, I almost walked right into that one

Lois: Stewie, why don't you play in the other room?
Stewie: Why don't you burn in hell!

Stewie: Well, well mother, we meet again.
Lois: Stewie, I thought I tucked you in an hour ago.
Stewie: Not tightly enough it would seem, and now you contemptible harpy, I shall end your oppressive reign of matriarchal tyranny!

Lois: When you were born the doctor said you were the happiest looking baby he'd ever seen.
Stewie: But, of course. That was my victory day. The fruition of my deeply-laid plans to escape from that cursed ovarian bastille!

Meg: Mom, can I turn the heat up?
Lois: Don't touch the thermostat, Meg. Your father gets upset.
Meg: Come on. This thing goes up to 90.
[Meg adjusts it a little, and Peter suddenly comes into the room]
Peter: Who touched the thermostat?
Meg: God, how does he always know?
Peter: Brain implant, Meg. Every father's got one. Tells you when the kids mess with the dial.
Guy: My thing went off! Your thermostat okay?

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