[to Nicole] I'm really sorry about the wedding. I know you were looking forward to saying, "I do" to Victor's fortune.

If I live to be one hundred, I will never understand women.

There she is, the star of "How to Blackmail a Millionaire" and "The Seven-Year Bitch."

Lucas Roberts

Don't get your knickers in a knot because Paige followed your bossy little orders to the letter.

Theresa

Whatever gets you out of the haunted mansion as soon as possible.

Yeah, that's me. The guy that women feel they can open up to, feel comfortable around, kind of like an old shoe.

Lucas: If Justin doesn't appreciate you, that's on him.
Adrienne: Have I mentioned the hot attorney he's working with all day and night?

Lucas: What do you see in that wing nut?
Kate: Really? How many times have I said the same thing to you?

Sami was the mother of my children and we could have made it if it weren't for you.

The only reason we're together is because you decided to spend the last few months doing the Baroness Von Trapp.

Have you never shacked up with a married man, really? Isn't that the whole reason I'm here?

He was my best friend and I don't know how I'm going to go on without him.