Popular Lucille Quotes
Lucille: If you're saying I play favorites, you're wrong. I love all my children equally.
(Earlier that day)
Lucille: I don't care for Gob.
Lucille: Everything they do is so dramatic and flamboyant. It just makes me want to set myself on fire!
Lindsay: Good grief, Mother! Not all homosexuals are flamboy -- Oh, my God, I have the exact same blouse.
Lucille: And I'm putting Buster in charge.
Gob: He's a good choice.
Michael: Buster? The guy who thought that the blue on the map was land?
I'd rather be dead in California than alive in Arizona.
Look what they've done, Michael. Look what the homosexuals have done to me.
(on the phone) Then why don't you marry an ice cream sandwich!
Michael: (about Gob) So, what do you want me to do about it?
Lucille: Don't take that tone. He's my son. I want you to make him stop calling me.
Lucille: (about Gob) He's very upset. You haven't included him in the business at all. He's your older brother. You could find a little job for him. Make him feel special.
Michael: But he's not special, Mother.
Lucille: No. But he loves you.
Lucille: Oh, it's probably all in a storage unit somewhere.
Michael: Where's the storage unit?
Lucille: I don't remember.
Michael: Try.
Lucille: Something-dale. I don't know -- Brookfeather, Raintree. It's hot. It was very hot there. I've never been ... get a warrant.
Michael: Don't think I won't.
Luz, that coat cost more than your house. (Lucille looks at Michael)
That's how we joke. She doesn't even have a house.
Lindsay: Did you enjoy your meal, Mom? You drank it fast enough.
Lucille: Not as much as you enjoyed yours. You want your belt to buckle, not your chair.
Lucille: (showing Michael her fox scarf) Michael, look. Look what happened to my fox. Someone cut off its little foot. Is it, is it noticeable?
Michael: Well, you've got to remember you're going to be all splattered in red paint. That's gonna distract the eye.
