Lindsay: Where's Nana?
Lucille: I sent her on a wonderful cruise. You just missed a wonderful call from her. She just came back from a wonderful costume party that the captain threw. She gained ten pounds, there's so much food on that boat. She's up to 74.

George Sr.: Hi ... This is not what it looks like ...
Lucille: It looks like you're tweaking her nipples through a chain-link fence.
George Sr.: Yep ... Yeah, that's it.

Lucille: Your father with his disgusting tweaking. I couldn't breast feed any of you kids because of that man.
(Everyone groans except for Barry)
Barry: They still look fabulous.

Buster: I'm a scholar. I enjoy scholarly pursuits.
Lucille: Suddenly, playing with yourself is a scholarly pursuit.

Well, now, who the hell is going to unload the car? (Into phone) Hola? Is Rosa still alive? No? Oh. Ok. This is not my day.

They've got a bus, and they want to use parking lot to this building as a meeting place. I mean, for God's sake, it's not a hardware store. We can't have them hanging around like a bunch of freeloaders looking for an easy buck.

Michael: You get a paycheck from the Bluth Company?
Lucille: Well, it's important to the company that I keep up the image of my lifestyle.
Michael: Illusion, Mom.

Lucille: I don't have the milk of mother's kindness in me anymore.
Michael: Yeah. That udder's been dry for a while though, hasn't it?

Lucille: Michael, the little Korean is here, and I don't know what to do with him. At least, I think it's a him. You've got to strip them down to next to nothing before you could even tell.
Michael: Yeah. Mom, I just spoke to Social Services, and although they don't like to do this, if you can prove that it's a bad environment for a child, and I would suggest saying what you just said to me. Don't change a word. They will take him back.

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