Lucille: Ah, yes. The week we had the au pair. You know, your mother always wanted this broach.
Maeby: Really?
Lucille: Do you want it?
Maeby: I do now. That'll show her for trying to punish me.

Lindsay: (about the broach) You know I wanted that.
Lucille: I know. But it's an elephant. And I didn't want to invite the comparison.

Maeby: (working with Lucille) This is so much fun. I can't believe my mom thought being here would be a punishment.
Lucille: Oh, she thinks I'm too critical. That's another fault of hers.

I don't criticize you! And if you're worried about criticism, sometimes a diet is the best defense.

Lucille: I need a favor.
Michael: We ought to put that on our family crest.

Michael: I can't help you, Mom. I've got a job. I've got to make some money so you can buy more things and destroy the evidence.
Lucille: You're right. I'll ask Lindsay.

Narrator: Later, Lucille stopped by the model home to enlist her daughter's help cataloging her valuables.
Lindsay: I can't.
Lucille: Why not?
Lindsay: Because I'm ... Don't want to.

Maeby: D plus. Sign this.
Lindsay: This is a D minus.
Maeby: Well, either way, it's above a D right?
Lucille: Another world beater.

Lindsay: I see. Fine. I was going to take her out for ice cream, but if you'd rather stay here. Well, that's just fine with me.
Maeby: Well, we can go get some ice cream, Gangee. That would be fun, right?
Lucille: I don't think so. That chubby little wrist of yours is testing the tensile strength of this bracelet as it is.

Lucille: Buster's been humping the widow Austero.
Buster: Mom ...
George, Sr.: Is that true?
Buster: No. We're taking it slow.
Lucille: He stays there sometimes until 7:00, 8:00 at night. Peanut brittle on his breath. Is she the one who's going to take him to the dentist?
Buster: She already has.

Michael: Mom, I'm looking for Gob. There's some people after him, and I don't know whether it's gambling or what, but they want to break his legs.
Lucille: It's a good thing he's already got that little scooter!

Lucille: You're the only one who chose a spouse I liked and she had to die.
Michael: I know, that's rough for you.

Arrested Development Quotes

She sometimes takes a little pack of mayonnaise and she'll squirt it in her mouth all over. And then she'll take an egg and kind of...mmmm! She calls it a 'mayon-egg.' Are you okay?

George Michael

Oh, mercy me! I forgot that we were in the colonies.

Mrs. Featherbottom