I got scared because the cabinet didn't fall down.

Are you doing sex?

I brought you some soda, but I couldn't find any straws, so you'll have to drink it like cats.

Mitchell: The attic? Why?
Luke: At least it's big. Grandpa said you used to live in a closet.

Whatever they were doing, Dad was winning.

I had bread, I had cheese, and I had an iron. What was I supposed to do?

Gloria: Luke!
Luke: At what?
Gloria: What do you mean at what? I said Luke.
Luke: I am looking!

Manny: Hey luke, do you realize in two years we'll both be graduating?
Luke: Not now. I think I'm moving the ball with my mind.
Manny: Well, I'll be graduating.

My dad says the greatest singer who ever lived is Peabo Bryson.

Luke: Is that Mom's apron?
Phil: It's an apron.

Sorry I aggravated you, and just so you know, a lot of people think I'm adorable.

Manny: Oh no, who will pee all over the bathroom floor?
Luke: I was brushing my teeth at the same time...you try to do that.

Modern Family Quotes

You could pretend to get sick at the table. You know cough, stomachache, dealer's choice, I don't care just sell it.

Mitchell

Thank you Uncle Manny!

Haley