Modern Family

Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern family
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It smells like puke married poop and they had the ceremony in my nose.

Luke: My mom hates messes.
Manny: I'm familiar with Claire.

Luke: You yelled at my teacher for calling me special.
Claire: Hunnie that wasn't a compliment.

Gloria: Luke!
Luke: At what?
Gloria: What do you mean at what? I said Luke.
Luke: I am looking!

You gotta grab what you can, when you can.

Phil: You know who can't climb trees?
Luke: Raccoons?
Phil: Worries. Raccoons can and will so don't leave food up here.

It's in a block of ice. I got the idea when I heard a bunch of rich guys talking about their frozen assets. Haha assets.

Luke: How many moms does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Phil: How many?
Luke: None because she's got you to do that sucker.

Luke: The other day Uncle Mitchell brought over a bag of junk food so he and Cam could do a Jew fast.
Phil: Juice fast?
Luke: I'm pretty sure he said Jew.

Mitchell: The attic? Why?
Luke: At least it's big. Grandpa said you used to live in a closet.

Mitchell: What's so great about destroying stuff?
Luke: It stuff into chunks of flying stuff!

Let me work my magic. It's all about creative editing. Just give me two hours, and then another hour. Someone get me a chocolate milk, with extra salt.

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