Manny: Oh no, who will pee all over the bathroom floor?
Luke: I was brushing my teeth at the same time...you try to do that.

I had bread, I had cheese, and I had an iron. What was I supposed to do?

We had a fire drill last night. Not the hotel. Just me and Manny.

Manny's the worst roommate ever. Everything he finds, he folds.

Luke: Manny and I are going to practice lay-ups.
Manny: They are deceptively hard. A curious mix of dance and strength.
Luke: You're ruining it again.

Claire [after eating Haley's cupcakes]: Do we still have the number for poison control?
Phil: I love you, Claire, I'll always love you!
Luke: My mouth is asleep like at the dentist.

Luke: I dunno, mom always tells me what to do.
Phil: Join the club.

Alex: Luke has ADHD.
Luke: No I don't... what is it?
Alex: I'd tell you, but you'd wander off before I get to the (Luke wanders off) H.

Luke: You had a girlfriend before mom?
Phil: I had two!

Luke: When you stuck your head in, your screamed a little.
Phil: I told you. That was the house settling.

His name is Ponce? He'd get made fun of at my school. They'd probably call him "Pants."

Wouldn't that be so cool to go to a school made out of bottles?

Modern Family Quotes

You could pretend to get sick at the table. You know cough, stomachache, dealer's choice, I don't care just sell it.

Mitchell

Thank you Uncle Manny!

Haley