Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern-family

I got scared because the cabinet didn't fall down.

Phil: Wow, this place has really changed. Time marches on, huh? See that Starbucks down there, you know what that used to be?
Luke: An orange grove?
Phil: No, a Burger King. You can still see some of the architecture.

My dad says the greatest singer who ever lived is Peabo Bryson.

Manny: Oh no, who will pee all over the bathroom floor?
Luke: I was brushing my teeth at the same time...you try to do that.

I had bread, I had cheese, and I had an iron. What was I supposed to do?

We had a fire drill last night. Not the hotel. Just me and Manny.

Manny's the worst roommate ever. Everything he finds, he folds.

Luke: Manny and I are going to practice lay-ups.
Manny: They are deceptively hard. A curious mix of dance and strength.
Luke: You're ruining it again.

Claire [after eating Haley's cupcakes]: Do we still have the number for poison control?
Phil: I love you, Claire, I'll always love you!
Luke: My mouth is asleep like at the dentist.

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