Some are real, right? Like Anne Frank's?

When you walked through a spider web... when we were playing with a Ouija board and the wind blew a door shut...

Luke [about reptile on his head]: This feels so weird, what does it eat?
Jungle Tanya: Oh just little boy brains
Alex: Well, at least Luke has nothing to worry about

Phil [about Luke]: I'm telling you that kid is a genius, there's a rainmaker
Claire: Why is your iPod in your mouth?
Luke: I'm charging it
Claire: Alex. Alex!

Alex: Did you know fencing goes back to the 12th century?
Haley: You know what's even nerdier than fencing? knowing when it began
Luke: I don't think you're a nerd, Alex
Alex: Shut up dork

Modern Family Quotes

You could pretend to get sick at the table. You know cough, stomachache, dealer's choice, I don't care just sell it.

Mitchell

Thank you Uncle Manny!

Haley