I'm gonna save my dad's life!

Mac: Bro you texted us 911 what’s the emergency?!
Charlie: Uh, well, our friendships in danger!

Dennis: We gotta get back in our apartment man.
Mac: Yeah I know, I hate Dee.
Dennis: Yeah I hate her.

Mac: Did you do that?
Dennis: You know what? I think I did.
Mac: Yeah I think I saw you!

Dennis: It was Mac's stupid plan.
Mac: Then why did you scratch me?
Dennis: Because you annoyed.

How can a whole group have the same idea? What, do they say it all at once? That's ludicrous.

Oh, and also, he murdered and ate his family.

Mac: I don’t think you were there.
Cricket: I was there Mac, my whole face burned off, I was there.

He needs to be absolved so he can go crazy again.

Be the caboose.

Frank: So, what could we talk about?
Mac: A Creatin shit!

He's engaging you physically.

It's Always Sunny Quotes

Mac: Fight Milk! The first alcoholic dairy based protein drink for bodyguards!
Charlie: By bodyguards! I drink it every morning so I can fight like a crow.

Naked pics online? That's disgusting. On a website? There's so many of them though. Where? Which one?