I'm gonna save my dad's life!

Mac: Bro you texted us 911 what’s the emergency?!
Charlie: Uh, well, our friendships in danger!

Dennis: We gotta get back in our apartment man.
Mac: Yeah I know, I hate Dee.
Dennis: Yeah I hate her.


Mac: Did you do that?
Dennis: You know what? I think I did.
Mac: Yeah I think I saw you!

Dennis: It was Mac's stupid plan.
Mac: Then why did you scratch me?
Dennis: Because you annoyed.

How can a whole group have the same idea? What, do they say it all at once? That's ludicrous.

Oh, and also, he murdered and ate his family.

Mac: I don’t think you were there.
Cricket: I was there Mac, my whole face burned off, I was there.

He needs to be absolved so he can go crazy again.

Be the caboose.

Frank: So, what could we talk about?
Mac: A Creatin shit!

He's engaging you physically.

It's Always Sunny Quotes

Frank: I opened up to a therapist just once. I was a kid. I got into a fight. The doctor asked me question after question, got me so scrambled up. Next thing I know, I was shanghai'd upstate to a nitwit school. You know what a nitwit school is?
Therapist: I assume you mean a school for the mentally disabled.
Frank (spits pistachio shell): Yeah, not just for nuts in the head, but bodies, too. Back then science was real crude, they stuck us all together. My roommate was a frog-kid. You ever see a frog-kid?

No I don't eat dragon, cause, uh, it's not a meal for peasants, it's a meal for kings, and I'm sort of a common man. But they don't eat us, it's a common misconception. They actually eat gold and treasure -- that's why they're always sitting on a pile of it.

Charlie