Oh sorry, let me explain. We're doing a Wade Boggs type thing, and that makes me sort of the Bud Selig of the group.

Charlie: It's a Wade Boggs style! Give me another one!
Mac: You know, that's the only ball I have. And I didn't really expect you to hit one.

Mac: There's a secret hatch on the airplane that allows me to travel anywhere.
Charlie: Yeah, everybody knows that.

Wade Boggs is alive! He's in Tampa, Florida. He's in his early fifties.

We're trying to do a Wade Boggs type thing.

First off Wade Boggs is very much alive.

And then, best of all. Sir Isaac Newton gets born and blows everyone's nips off with his big brains. Of course he also thought he could turn metal into gold and he died eating mercury. Making him yet another stupid (*slaps 'bitch' sticker*) bitch!

I'm glad you brought up, Mr. Reynolds. Because science... is a liar sometimes. This... is Aristotle. Thought to be the smartest man on the planet. He believed the Earth was the center of the universe. And everybody believed him because he was so smart until another smartest guy came around. Galileo. And he disproved that theory... making Aristotle and everyone else on Earth look like... (*slaps a sticker that reads 'BITCH' on Aristotle's picture*) bitch.

No matter. I'm righteous. I'm not gonna stand here and present some egghead scientific argument based on fact. I'm just a regular dude. I like to drink beer. I love my family. Rock, flag, and eagle - right, Charlie?

Mac: I'm gonna smash this (vase of flowers) over their goddam heads!
Dennis: Yes, Mac! Yes! I'm gonna blast them with this fire extinguisher!
Charlie: Okay, I'll toss hot soup in their faces.
Frank: I'm gonna pinch their dicks with this lobster.

Mac: I'm not going to sit down until you say something nice to me. For once in your life.
Dennis: Your hair is small.

My eyes slant down. I don't have a good peripheral.

It's Always Sunny Quotes

Principal: I'm a little confused, are you telling me this photo of Bruce Jenner is your resume?
Charlie: Well, when I showed up this morning I didn't have a formal resume on me so i was sort of hoping the photograph of Mr. Jenner could represent the standard of excellence I'm hoping to bring to his position.
Principal: And you're looking for a job as a substitute teacher?
Charlie: Substitute janitor.

Frank: When it's white people, it's surviving. When it's black people, it's looting.
Dee: No Frank. It's because the white people are stealing bread and the black people are stealing speakers.