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Its-always-sunny-in-philadelphia

How did your friends make you fat? Were they force feeding you?

Priest

I command you to smite my friends!

Mac [to God]

Mac: Bless me Father for I have sinned.
Priest: What is your confession?
Mac: I'm fat.

Who was it that said 'I'll be in and out like a demon's whisper'?

Mac [to Dennis]

Charlie: I can't see the driver's face but the man appears to have pointy feet.
Mac: Those are cowboy boots.

Dee banged a fat, old, black lady and sent her a bunch of hair.

Hair? Sending hair? That's demented.

It's like an online shush.

Mac [complaining about not being friended]

Naked pics online? That's disgusting. On a website? There's so many of them though. Where? Which one?

Displaying quotes 37 - 45 of 146 in total