That dog is turning into hot soup out there in the sun.

Goddamnit I don't know how to express myself unless through anger and personal attack!

So there's another unrelated diddler in the mix?

You look like you're at your own wake.

Mac [to Frank]

How would you win pageants? Did you have a different face?

Mac [to Dee]

We're in the steroid capital of the world.

Goddamnit Frank! Eating your drinks?! That is genius!

I'm sorry. Is no one gonna talk about Dee's hair?

This isn't fat. This is mass.

Dee: What if we took a "Pretty Woman" and threw it Roxy's way?
Frank: It was a bullsh*t movie. People don't change like that.
Mac: People change, Frank. Look at me. I went from a tiny twink to the muscle bound freak you see before you.
Dee: You're not helping my argument.
Dennis: Okay, yea. And if you're going to chime in please don't do it with a mouth full of burrito.
Mac: This is a chimichanga.
Dennis You are becoming a chimichanga!

Based on that story, I'm fairly certain those Santas were running a train on your mother for money.

Mac: No, your other left.
Charlie: My other left? I only have one left.
Mac: It's just an expression. Just move it to the other direction.
Charlie: What would that expression be for? For someone with two lefts?
Mac: No, just move it the other way.
Charlie: Towards your left?
Mac: Your left and my left are the same left because we're facing the same direction.
Charlie: Eh, we're two different people so we can't have the same left. It doesn't make sense.