Hair? Sending hair? That's demented.

It's like an online shush.

Mac [complaining about not being friended]

Naked pics online? That's disgusting. On a website? There's so many of them though. Where? Which one?

Bill Gates and that rain man, Mark Zuckerberg.

3D boobies. Now THIS is news.

The love of your life was a black woman named Shadynasty?

Why wouldn't we have a crucifix in the bar?

That dog is turning into hot soup out there in the sun.

Goddamnit I don't know how to express myself unless through anger and personal attack!

So there's another unrelated diddler in the mix?

You look like you're at your own wake.

Mac [to Frank]

How would you win pageants? Did you have a different face?

Mac [to Dee]

It's Always Sunny Quotes

Frank: I opened up to a therapist just once. I was a kid. I got into a fight. The doctor asked me question after question, got me so scrambled up. Next thing I know, I was shanghai'd upstate to a nitwit school. You know what a nitwit school is?
Therapist: I assume you mean a school for the mentally disabled.
Frank (spits pistachio shell): Yeah, not just for nuts in the head, but bodies, too. Back then science was real crude, they stuck us all together. My roommate was a frog-kid. You ever see a frog-kid?

No I don't eat dragon, cause, uh, it's not a meal for peasants, it's a meal for kings, and I'm sort of a common man. But they don't eat us, it's a common misconception. They actually eat gold and treasure -- that's why they're always sitting on a pile of it.

Charlie