Hair? Sending hair? That's demented.

It's like an online shush.

Mac [complaining about not being friended]

Naked pics online? That's disgusting. On a website? There's so many of them though. Where? Which one?

Bill Gates and that rain man, Mark Zuckerberg.

3D boobies. Now THIS is news.

The love of your life was a black woman named Shadynasty?

Why wouldn't we have a crucifix in the bar?

That dog is turning into hot soup out there in the sun.

Goddamnit I don't know how to express myself unless through anger and personal attack!

So there's another unrelated diddler in the mix?

You look like you're at your own wake.

Mac [to Frank]

How would you win pageants? Did you have a different face?

Mac [to Dee]

It's Always Sunny Quotes

Charlie: I'll totally pull a Good Will Hunting on those kids and that'll put them in their place.
Mac: How you gonna do that?
Charlie: Well, you've seen the movie right?
Mac: Yeah.
Charlie: So all I gotta do is, I'll ask them some big shot, like math or science, history-type college question aand that will totally stump them by knowing a lot more about the answer than they do.
Mac: In that movie, Matt Damon played a genius janitor, you're just a janitor.
Charlie: Right, you stumped me with that one.

Mac: He doesn't have any poison.
Charlie: I don't have any on me, but I do keep some in my fridge at home in the relish jar.
Frank: There's poison in that jar? I thought I was allergic to pickles. What's in the jar with the skull and crossbones?
Charlie: Well that's mayonnaise. It's a decoy.
Frank: And the mayo?
Charlie: That's shampoo.
Frank: You're telling I've been putting shampoo on my sandwiches?
Charlie: If you've been using the mayonnaise, then yeah, probably.