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Mac: Hey bro, how'd you lose your hand?
Mac: That's not much of an adventure is it? Kind of tragic.
- Permalink: Hey bro, how'd you lose your hand? Diabetes. That's not much...
You look like one of those inflatable dancing things at the used car lot. The one's that flail around in the wind.
- Permalink: You look like one of those inflatable dancing things at the used...
Frank: We'll get that idiot lawyer that always helps us out. He does good by us.
Mac: Yes, he's excellent but he slapped a restrainer order on us so we can't use him. [To Dennis]: Also you need a lawyer, too.
Dennis: I need a lawyer?
Mac: How are you not grasping this concept?
Dennis: Oh... for the divorce.
- Permalink: We'll get that idiot lawyer that always helps us out. He does g...
Maureen: I want you and your boy toy out of my apartment, now!
Mac: I'm the boy toy.
- Permalink: I want you and your boy toy out of my apartment, now! I'm the ...
Mac: Maybe I should go to my room.
Maureen: That is not your room anymore. It's my craft studio, so kindly stay out of there.
Dennis: Don't freak out, dude. She turned it it into a terrible craft studio where she makes terrible sweatshirts out of cats. Or puts cats in sweatshirts.
- Permalink: Maybe I should go to my room. That is not your room anymore. ...
Dennis: I am having feelings again. Like some kind of fourteen year old kid. You remember, feelings right?
Mac: Yeah. I have feelings every single day of my life.
Dennis: Do you?
Mac: Are you saying you don't have feelings?
Dennis: What I'm saying is a built up a shell.. a shell around myself. A cold, calculated shell that couldn't be broken by anything but marriage.
- Permalink: I am having feelings again. Like some kind of fourteen year old...
Carmen: If this is about you and me, just say that.
Mac: I'm never going to admit that, Carmen. But come on, him? What do you see in this guy? Look at my body compared to his. I'm a hard body, you're a hard body. We could be hard bodies together.
- Permalink: If this is about you and me, just say that. I'm never going to...
Sweet camel toe. That's a great tuck job. You got it taped back there?
- Permalink: Sweet camel toe. That's a great tuck job. You got it taped bac...
Mac: Why are you jamming me up, bro?
Gym Manager: I'm not trying to jam you up, I just don't believe you.
Mac: What is not to believe? I'm absolutely Dennis Reynolds.
Gym Manager: This picture looks nothing like you.
Mac: Well, thank you, cause I've actually packed on about fifteen to twenty pounds of solid bulk muscle since that picture was taken. It's actually a testament to your gym.
- Permalink: Why are you jamming me up, bro? I'm not trying to jam you up, ...
I gotta get my pump on.
- Permalink: I gotta get my pump on.
Mac: Well, maybe it boils down to this smart guy: computers are for losers.
Dennis: You're drinking a beer at eight o'clock in the morning!
Mac: Whatever dude. Irrelevant.
- Permalink: Computers are for losers. You're drinking a beer at eight o'cl...
Mac: Then we promise that we will come back with our butts filled.
Charlie: So filled! So filled for you!
- Permalink: Then we promise that we will come back with our butts filled. ...