Luke: My mom hates messes.
Manny: I'm familiar with Claire.

She's like a dream, wrapped in a wish, poured into jeggings.

Cam, our shared bathroom is not the place to work out whatever's going on here!

I understood " crazy old witch" "go kill yourself" then "I love you."

I love gambling, it's so easy!!

Claire: Oh thank God, here comes Phil and the butterball.
Manny: Hey, I have a name!!

Forbidden dance floor, only makes me want it more.

Stop marching, you're dancing not invading Poland.

Manny: I guess I'm too proud to ask for help.
Jay: Are you kidding? She still cuts your steak.

Jay: He wants more wow. What does that even mean?
Manny: It's the Bieberization of America.

Manny: I wanna be home-schooled.
Gloria: Really Manny? You want me to learn you English?

You'll never go broke playing into a rich guy's ego. Write THAT down.

Modern Family Quotes

By the way, do not look up peeing games on the internet.

Jay

[Singing] You are not the man you used to be. You get up four times at night to pee. Ba da dum da dum tat ta ta ta. You're super duper old now.

Phil