She's had the romantic, she's had the intellectual, how about all that in one fine little brown package.

Tell me about it, I've got a clingy 5th grader, I can't shake.

At this rate, I'm going to miss the first my wedding!

Jay: Flag on the play.
Manny: What does that mean?!?

My knee's been singing all morning.

I really thought it was too late for me. But for the last few minutes, I've been watching all of you acting like children and it hit me. I've got plenty of time left to be a kid.

Look at Luke there, making one big straw out of three. Never change, Luke.

Manny: It was the second thing that slipped right out from under me today. The first was my childhood.
Jay: I get it.

I'm trying to get a hold of more butts... Very funny, I don't have time for this foolishness.

Manny: These will be my last words to you.
Jay: Knock knock.
Manny: Who's there?

Manny: I see you're still forklifting.
Jackson: More like lifting the fork!
Manny: I was gonna say that!

Don't skimp on linens. Don't compliment a teacher on her figure. And when it comes to my mom, never ask questions I don't want the answers to.