Marge Simpson Quotes
(Marge's character is stuck in front of a wall)
Marge: This is really annoying.
(Grandpa is doing the same thing)
Grandpa: You're telling me.
- Permalink: This is really annoying. You're telling me.
(About the album) It was like a resume to a man.
- Permalink: It was like a resume to a man.
(Marge reads The Inquisitor at the Quik-E-Mart)
Marge: Sideshow Mel is in a custody battle? And it's getting bitter?
Apu: Read one more thing, and it's a purchase!
Marge: "Experts disagree on location of Heaven"?
- Permalink: Sideshow Mel is in a custody battle? And it's getting bitter? ...
(After the family puts their special items in the safe, smoke begins coming out.)
Bart: What's that comin' out of the safe?
Homer: I don't know--Maybe the Krusty doll accidentally turned on the car's headlights, which focused on the cologne bottle, causing it to boil and soon explode.
Lisa: Dad, that's ridiculous!
(The safe blows apart from the explosion.)
Krusty Doll: What's the deal with this California pizza? If I wanted cheese and fruit--(As it burns from the flames and begins melting)--I'd...have...to...(Melts into a plastic puddle)
Marge: (Devastated when the family album falls apart into ashes) Nooooooo! It's gone! That family album was a record of my accomplishments! It's like what a resume is for a man.
Lisa: I agree, Mom. It's very sad. But we'll have to move on. It's not like we can restage all our family photos.
Marge: (Becoming delighted upon the idea) Restage the photos!
Bart: Lisa you fool, you've doomed us all!
(Marge quickly puts a baby bonnet on him and snaps a shot with her camera as he cries out before she takes a second shot, which is among the first ones seen in the new family album.)
- Permalink: What's that comin' out of the safe? I don't know--Maybe the Kr...
Marge: This disaster-ette was a real wake-up call. We need to find a way to protect our irreplaceables.
Firefighter: You could buy a fireproof safe.
Homer: Or we could just resolve to be more careful with our open flames!
Firefighter: Sir, we've been here six times this month.
Homer: Yeah, but, um, one of those, I dialed 911 by mistake but I was too embarrassed to admit it so I set the house on fire. Feels good to tell the truth. No, I'm lying again, it feels bad.
- Permalink: This disaster-ette was a real wake-up call. We need to find a wa...
Homer: (as Esteban) So, how long is senor Homer out of town for?
Marge: Ooh, I don't know, he might come home any minute
Homer: Then I must flee! (jumps out the window and re-enters the room as himself) Where is he? Where is he? I smell his aftershave!
Marge: I don't think we're doing this right.
- Permalink: So, how long is senor Homer out of town for? Ooh, I don't know...
Marge: Grampa's driving me crazy!
Homer: Why are you telling me? He's YOUR father-in-law.
- Permalink: Grampa's driving me crazy! Why are you telling me? He's YOUR f...
Marge: Bart, honey, this is all we can afford for now. If it doesn't work, maybe when you're an adult you can pay some lady to make you happy for an hour.
Bart: Ya know, I'm pretty sure I will.
- Permalink: Bart, honey, this is all we can afford for now. If it doesn't wo...
Marge: Homie, you woke up early?
Homer: Stumbled home at dawn, same diff.
- Permalink: Homie, you woke up early? Stumbled home at dawn, same diff.