Popular Marshall Eriksen Quotes
Barney: Barney Stinson is back on the market. Mothers, lock up your daughters. Daughters, lock up your MILSWANCA's.
Ted: Oh wait, I can get this. Mothers I'd Like to Sleep With and Never Call Again
Barney: Correct, circle gets a square
Ted: She didn't even give me the signal!
Barney: What, is she gonna bat her eyes at you in morse code? [bats eyes] Ted... kiss me. No! You just kiss her!
Ted: Not if you don't get the signal!
[Barney spontaneously kisses Marshall]
Barney: Did Marshall give me the signal?
Marshall: No! [to Lily] I didn't, I swear!
Victoria: I will tell you my most humiliating story.
Marshall: Yeah, Victoria! Way to step up.
Victoria: OK, it involves a game of Truth or Dare, a squeeze bottle of marshmallow ice cream topping, and the hot tub at my grandparent's retirement community.
Future Ted: ... Kids, I tell you a lot of inappropriate stories, but there's no way I'm telling you this one. Don't worry, it wasn't that great...
Marshall: That is the greatest story ever!
So, funny thing about Willem Dafoe. His name sounds like it's being spoken by a frog, then a parrot. Willem. DA-FOE! Willem. DA-FOE!
No Santa needs protein.
Marshall: A certain delicate flower cried all night in the shower.
Lily: And I was pretty bummed too.
Why is Ellen DeGeneres in our bedroom?
Ted: I need to grow up. Oh by the way I'm breaking a jinx swear here so don't tell Barney or he gets to whack me in the nuts three times with a whiffle ball bat.
Marshall: Sure, pretty standard.
Marshall: Hey, Barney, that prime rib was surprisingly good, but it's ten thirty in the morning I don't really need to see a lady get naked and dance.
Barney: Oh Esther gets naked, but she doesn't dance... That WAS my card!
Screw tomorrow, lets go big tonight.
Marshall: Oh you're wearing a flower.
Barney: Thank You!
Marshall: I didn't compliment, just observed.
Barney: ...a hug is just like a public dry hump
Marshall: I think you're hugging wrong