Popular Marshall Eriksen Quotes
Barney: Barney Stinson is back on the market. Mothers, lock up your daughters. Daughters, lock up your MILSWANCA's.
Ted: Oh wait, I can get this. Mothers I'd Like to Sleep With and Never Call Again
Barney: Correct, circle gets a square
Victoria: I will tell you my most humiliating story.
Marshall: Yeah, Victoria! Way to step up.
Victoria: OK, it involves a game of Truth or Dare, a squeeze bottle of marshmallow ice cream topping, and the hot tub at my grandparent's retirement community.
Future Ted: ... Kids, I tell you a lot of inappropriate stories, but there's no way I'm telling you this one. Don't worry, it wasn't that great...
Marshall: That is the greatest story ever!
No Santa needs protein.
Come on, Spice Channel!
Barney: Nice! Girls whose names end in LY are always dirty: Holly, Kelly, Karly... Lily.
Marshall: Hey! Oh, yeah, I know it's true
Nobody wakes up and says "today I'm going to star in a YouTube video!"
Robin: Hey Captain, quick question. What do you think about the Jonas Brothers?
Marshall [covering the right half of the Captain's face]: He hates that he loves them.
Ted: Barney, or should I say Borrowney?
Marshall: You should never say that.
Ted: So, last night Robin left the pizza box out on the floor, so we had sex three times.
Ted: And then this morning, before I left for work, we kissed.
Marshall: Oh, that's weird. That is weird!
Marshall: Ted, what does your mom always say?
Ted: Nothing good ever...
Marshall: Nothing good ever happens after 2 a.m.
Eriksen men are hella fertile.
Why is Ellen DeGeneres in our bedroom?