I think that sandwich was laced with other stuff...like hard meats.

Lily: Marshall, your insurance doesn't kick in till tomorrow.
Marshall: Yeah well you know what? Life kicks in right now!

Hey, it's been no picnic for me either. You don't even do the voices.

You may knot, with a K. A little tie pun.

Nobody wakes up and says "today I'm going to star in a YouTube video!"

Lily you just gave those children a stapler, a pair of sharp scissors and a pretty decent Pinot Noir.

I'm the real lucky guy because I married my dad.

Barney: Come on, Barney Stinson always turns it around.
Marshall: How?
Barney: Simple, I turned...it...around.

We're gonna need a bigger booth.

Lily Pad? We're having a boy!

Lily: Yellow like the son.
Marshall: Or daughter, ooh pun snuggle.

Marshall: Where are we going?
Garrison Cootes: War son, we're going to war.

HIMYM Quotes

Ted [to Stella in his dream encounter]: You picked the wrong guy.
Stella: Ted?
Ted: You picked the wrong guy. You made a really, really, really bad choice. What were you thinking? That guy? Are you kidding me? Have you learned nothing in the last eight years? You're just gonna regret this. You know that, right? You are going to regret this, and now there is nothing you can do about it because it's too late. All you can do now is go up there and start your crappy, disappointing life that will never be nearly as happy as the one you could have had with me. Good-bye.
Stella: Ted, wait.
Ted: Look, Stella, I am not here to win you back. I am here because I need to know that you know you made the biggest mistake of your life.
Stella: I know

You are the love of my life. Everything I have and everything I am is yours. Forever.

Barney