How I Met Your Mother

Marshall Eriksen Quotes (Page 9)

Lily: Then there's the most popular parental lie in history: Santa.
Marshall: But that's a good lie. Like when we tell Ted he'll meet the right girl and settle down.
 • Rating: Unrated

James: When is the last time you saw a diaper poking out of a Dolce and Gabbana suit?
Marshall: Tuesday at work, some of the senior partners are really getting up there.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Lily: I could totally let you down. Has that thought not occurred to you?
Marshall: Not even for one second. Not having a baby would suck, but the idea of you letting me down, that's impossible. That would be like aliens landing. That's a bad example.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Lily: Why don't you have a baby with your dad?
Marshall: OK Lilly, why don't you have a baby with your butt?
Lily: What?
Marshall: I can't think straight! Why did you have to wear that shirt?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Marshall: So he gets no notice, he just walks into his boss's office and says to his boss, "I just had a grandson and I'm going to be out for three months."
 • Rating: Unrated

Lily: Whoa, wait. A big package just arrived.
Marshall: Yeah it did!
Lily: No it's a real package, from your dad.
Marshall: Well that's a little weird, but yeah it is!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Marshall: Let's go through the checklist...candles?
Lily: Check.
Marshall: Music to set the mood?
Lily: Check.
Marshall: Music for when we're actually doing it?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ted (sipping a beer): This is what church has been missing. Dude, you fixed Church!
Marshall: You're welcome, God.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Marshall: Beer be with you...
Ted: And also with you.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lily: I know what's bothering you. The cabbie just didn't look enough like Barney.
Marshall: Well that's just not true.
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

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