Marshall: Did you catch the game last night?
Robin: Yeah, nail biter.

Robin: Hey Captain, quick question. What do you think about the Jonas Brothers?
Marshall [covering the right half of the Captain's face]: He hates that he loves them.

Ted: A-ha! When a second uterus plumped becomes...
Marshall: Dude.. feel the room.

Marshall: Oh you're wearing a flower.
Barney: Thank You!
Marshall: I didn't compliment, just observed.

Looks like Pocahontas has a couple of wounded knees.

I love you and I'm going to love the crap out of whatever kind of baby we have.

Marshall: Hey, Barney, that prime rib was surprisingly good, but it's ten thirty in the morning I don't really need to see a lady get naked and dance.
Barney: Oh Esther gets naked, but she doesn't dance... That WAS my card!

Marshall: I can't do this. I can't stop thinking about you and Robin.
Lily: Oh I've had that a few times. just lean into it and let it fuel things.

Oh that's super interesting but you have a small penis.

Baby these satin sheets are slippery. Papa needs traction.

Come on, Spice Channel!

Eriksen men are hella fertile.

HIMYM Quotes

Barney: Ladies and gentlemen, I have in my hand a copy of tonight's Top Ten list. The category: top ten things I would've called my truck...
Ted: It was never your truck.
Barney: if Ted hadn't been a jerk and given it back.
Ted: It was a rental.
Barney: Number ten, "The Winne-Bango." Number nine, "The Pick-Up Truck." Number eight, "The Ford Explore Her." Number seven, "The You Scream Truck." You Scream. (they all laugh) Number six, "Feels on Wheels!" Hello! Number five, "The Ride Her Truck." Number four, "The 18-Squeeler." Number three, "The Esca-Laid." Number two, "The Slam-Boney." and... the number one thing I would've called my truck if Ted hadn't been a jerk and given it back... "The '69 Chevy."

Sometimes things have to fall apart to make way for better things...we're done here.

Ted