Lily: So if those guys pressure you to smoke, what do you say?Marshall: Only when I'm drunk.
Lily: Good boy
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Barney: Marshall, I should feel tremors of psych-itude rock my body like a seizure. That was like a declawed, pregnant cat on a porch swing idly swatting at a fly on a lazy Sunday afternoon.
Marshall: Wow, that was really specific
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Lily: You ralphed and ran?
Marshall: I thought you were vomit free since 93. So that was a lie.
Robin: You re-returned for me. That's really sweet, though you kinda ruined my customized Scherbatsky doormat
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Marshall: Victoria, that was an honest and mature answer. You may advance to the Gumdrop Mountains
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Victoria: I will tell you my most humiliating story.
Marshall: Yeah, Victoria! Way to step up.
Victoria: OK, it involves a game of Truth or Dare, a squeeze bottle of marshmallow ice cream topping, and the hot tub at my grandparent's retirement community.
Future Ted: ... Kids, I tell you a lot of inappropriate stories, but there's no way I'm telling you this one. Don't worry, it wasn't that great...
Marshall: That is the greatest story ever!
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Marshall: Well, we have the whole place to ourselves...
Lily: I'm thinking...floor sex!
Marshall: Sounds reasonable
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[explaining Marshgammon]
Marshall: Backgammon sucks. I took the only good part of backgammon, the gammon, and I left the rest of it in the trash where it belongs
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Barney: Ladies, gentlemen, Ted. This has been a wonderful evening. I got great dirt on all you guys. I got Ted to tell the Re-return. I finally nailed Shannon. Told her I'd call her tomorrow...yeah, right! And I rediscovered how awesomely awesome my life is. Peace out, hombres!
Marshall: I think Barney just won game night
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Lily: Baby, I need to do something and I can't do it in front of you. It will change the nature of our relationship.
Marshall: What is it?
Lily: I need to pee
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Ted: I had the most amazing night ever.
Marshall: Tell me about it! That cake. Best cake I ever had. Seriously, my stomach was like "Hey bro, I don't know what you're eating cause I don't have any eyes but it's basically awesome so keep sending it down."
Lily: Yea I know, my stomach was like "Girlfriend, we don't always get along but that cake..."
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Total Quotes: 161
