Season 4, Episode 6: "Happily Ever After"
Marshall: Stella hated Star Wars! She lied to you. Search your feelings, Ted. You know it to be true• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Season 4, Episode 5: "Shelter Island"
Marshall: There's no meat.Lily: There's no alcohol.
Marshall: It gets worse—I am 90% sure that guy you were talking with used to be lead singer of the Spin Doctors
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Season 4, Episode 4: "Intervention"
Ted [about his intervention]: What was it for? The Crocs? The hair product?Marshall: Not Stella.
Ted: Oh, my God, this was about Stella.
Marshall: I just said, "not Stella," so maybe it was about your poor listening skills, Ted.
Ted: What?
Marshall: It's out of control, see?
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Season 4, Episode 3: "I Heart NJ"
Lily: You hated that job.Robin: It wasn't that bad.
Lily: What did they make you call Tropical Storm Hector when they said it was raining "cats and dogs?"
Robin: A furricane.
Marshall: Hey, Ted, "Rock Me Like a Furricane"
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Marshall: I hate New York! I'm sorry, but it's true! Today, I was walking around PriceCo. Have you been there? It's huge! All the stores in New York are so cramped! Every time I turn around I knock something over. I'm like some huge monster that came out of the oceans to destroy bodegas! ...I'm too big for New York, okay! I'm always trying to fit into cramped little subway seats, or duck under doorways that were built a hundred and fifty years ago. "Hey, people are bigger now! Build bigger doorways! What the hell is wrong with you?" ...And it's so loud. All the time. Yes, I know it's the city that never sleeps, but guess what? I like to sleep! I've been tired for eight years! Tired and scared, with black and blue marks on my elbows from trying to fit into all these tiny elf doorways! New Jersey's great! It's got huge stores, and lawns, and you never have to carry a cup again! For the rest of your life! I'm not afraid to say it: I love New Jersey! [sees Lily's face] I'm just kidding
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Season 4, Episode 2: "The Best Burger in New York"
Marshall: Just a Burger? Just a burger. Robin, it's so much more than "just a burger." I mean...that first bite—oh, what heaven that first bite is. The bun, like a sesame freckled breast of an angel, resting gently on the ketchup and mustard below, flavors mingling in a seductive pas de deux. And then...a pickle! The most playful little pickle! Then a slice of tomato, a leaf of lettuce and a...a patty of ground beef so exquisite, swirling in your mouth, breaking apart, and combining again in a fugue of sweets and savor so delightful. This is no mere sandwich of grilled meat and toasted bread, Robin. This is God, speaking to us in food.Lily: And you got our wedding vows off the Internet!?
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Lily: But you wanna be an environmental lawyer!
Marshall: Yea, you know I also wanna be a Harlem Globetrotter and get paid in candy
• Rating: 3.0 / 10 • Permalink
Season 4, Episode 1: "Do I Know You?"
Ted [about Star Wars]: It's just a movie.[Marshall and Ted watch..]
Ted: Okay, if Stella doesn't like this movie I can't marry her.
Marshall: No, you can't.
Ted: Wanna watch it again?
Marshall: Yes, I do.
• Rating: 4.0 / 10 • Permalink
Season 3, Episode 20: "Miracles"
Marshall: God sent those lice to my head like he sent the locust to Egypt: to liberate me from corporate bondage. Miracle• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Season 3, Episode 18: "Rebound Bro"
[Marshall's cell phone rings]Marshall: Hey buddy...I'm married Barney, I cannot be your new wingman.
[Robin's cell phone rings]
Robin: No
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Total Quotes: 184
