I thought about it all last night. If Rabin can break bread with Arafat, I can have chicken at this Anti-Semitic shit hole.

She's an adult when she turns 13 or learns to make her first latkes.

Funkhouser: We ought to do this more often.
Larry: Come to disgusting strip clubs?

Have you set a day aside when you're gonna finally look at her face?

Larry: He's a Swede.
Funkhouser: He is? I was at his house for hanukkah.

Larry: Why don't you get a divorce?
Funkhouser: I'm too lazy.

Marty: I gotta pick up someone at the airport, and I know it's on the way. Can you give me a lift, please?
Larry: Why don't you ask your father to help jump start the car? (to empty passenger seat) Hey Leo, why don't you give him a push?!

Marty: Why do you pee sitting down?
Larry: Many reasons.
Marty: Do you crap standing up?

Curb Your Enthusiasm Quotes

You can't make an empty gesture to a Funkhouser. They take you up on it!

Larry

Larry: I think I am just going to get a Cobb Salad. I'd like to make a few substitutions, if that's OK. I'll get... no bacon. No eggs. Bleu cheese on the side.
Cliff Cobb: Are you sure you want a Cobb Salad? Do you do that every time you order that salad?
Larry: Do you have a problem with it?
Cliff Cobb: It's my grandfather's salad. I'm a Cobb of Cobb salad fame.
Larry: I think that this is a real bullshit story