I thought about it all last night. If Rabin can break bread with Arafat, I can have chicken at this Anti-Semitic shit hole.

She's an adult when she turns 13 or learns to make her first latkes.

Funkhouser: We ought to do this more often.
Larry: Come to disgusting strip clubs?

Have you set a day aside when you're gonna finally look at her face?

Larry: He's a Swede.
Funkhouser: He is? I was at his house for hanukkah.

Larry: Why don't you get a divorce?
Funkhouser: I'm too lazy.

Marty: I gotta pick up someone at the airport, and I know it's on the way. Can you give me a lift, please?
Larry: Why don't you ask your father to help jump start the car? (to empty passenger seat) Hey Leo, why don't you give him a push?!

Marty: Why do you pee sitting down?
Larry: Many reasons.
Marty: Do you crap standing up?

Curb Your Enthusiasm Quotes

Larry: "Bald asshole?" That's a hate crime. We consider ourselves to be a group.
Police Officer: I'm bald and I'm not offended.
Larry: With all due respect, Officer Berg, you are not bald. You've chosen to shave your hair and that's a look you're cultivating in order to look fashionable, but we don't really consider you part of the bald community... with all due respect

Larry: Who do you think has more freedom: the married man in America or the single man in Communist China?