Matt Parkman Quotes
Ted, you're radioactive by nature!
Audrey Hanson: Really, Parkman. Since when does "absence of noise" warrant a stake-out?
Matt Parkman: You always say I don't take you anywhere.
Audrey Hanson: You sure know how to spoil a girl.
Matt Parkman: Eat your Tex Mex.
Audrey Hanson: [Thinking] I'm just saying: he can be cute. Oh God. Did he just hear that?
[Aloud]
Audrey Hanson: Did you just read my mind?
Matt Parkman: [He laughs]
Audrey Hanson: You can't do that! That was a stray thought... you can't do that.
Matt Parkman: You really think I'm, uh... cute?
Audrey Hanson: I really think you're married. And I really think you love your wife.
Matt Parkman: I do.
Audrey Hanson: Then why haven't you called to yell at her so you can go home already? That's what you want, isn't it?
Matt Parkman: I don't want to be a chump.
Audrey Hanson: So still loving your wife after she has sex with someone else makes you a chump?
Matt Parkman: Doesn't it?
Audrey Hanson: Grow up, Parkman. If you want your marriage to work, you have to find a way to make it work; otherwise you are kind of a chump.
Audrey Hanson: Well, statistically speaking, law enforcement attracts a certain kind of male personality.
Matt Parkman: Oh. What personality would that be?
Audrey Hanson: Dogs.
Matt Parkman: And the female personality?
Audrey Hanson: Bitches. We keep it in the canine family.
Matt Parkman: License and registration, please.
Eden McCain: Oh, this isn't my car, I kinda stole it.
Matt Parkman: Can you take your glasses off for me, please?
[Eden does so. Matt sees a bottle of liquor in the passenger seat]
Matt Parkman: Ma'am, I'm gonna have to ask you to step out of the car.
Eden McCain: No, I don't feel like it.
Matt Parkman: That wasn't a suggestion.
Eden McCain: Well here's a suggestion. Why don't you go get back in your car and eat a dozen donuts. That is what you cops like to do, right?
Matt Parkman: Ma'am, step out of the car. Now.
Eden McCain: I think you really want a donut.
Matt Parkman: What's this?
Audrey Hanson: Detects radiation levels. As long as that's dark green we're good.
Matt Parkman: Oh. Okay. But what's the bad color?
Audrey Hanson: Not green.
Janice Parkman: I don't know what to say!
Matt Parkman: How about 'pass the salad'?
Matt Parkman: What do you want from me?
Mr. Bennet: We wanna know more about you.
