You're not the only one who's good at this game Emily Thorne.

I plan on wining, dining and 79ing him. And yes if you're wondering that is 10 better!

Penny: Yes! Year of Penny!
Max: The year's been over for a couple of months Pen.
Penny: Not the fiscal year of Penny. Suck it taxpayers!

Oh my God it's the Mandonna, let me hide under your unnecessary hat.

Max: I wouldn't say we spend that much time together, I mean just breakfast 4 or 5 times a week before work.
Dave: And drinks during the day most days, not everyday but definitely every evening.
Penny: And sure we always deliver news in person.

Max: You didn't like Ringling brother for brothers?
Brad: It would've been the greatest show on earf!

Get your Bobby Kennedy hands off of me!

Ooo floor bacon!

The curse of Max's lovehandles has struck again.

Two things you should know about me Kent, I'm selfless and I have moves like Jagger, specifically the ones he allegedly used on David Bowie in the 70s.

Max: It's a direct quote from my original screenplay "Heat 2: It's getting hot up in here."

Penny: Hello Gay Sir.
Max: Hello Countess von Boobs.

Happy Endings Quotes

You're sweating on my bruschetta.

Jane [to Brad]

The weird part is, now that I have a guy, everybody wants to set me up. Oh I know Al! I should hook you up with one of my "extras."

Penny