Are you a TV Fanatic?
Sign up for our daily newsletter to receive personalized television news for free!
Meg: Brian! Chris picked his nose, and now he keeps touching me with finger!
Chris: What good is mining nose gold if I can't share it with the townspeople?
- Permalink: Brian! Chris picked his nose, and now he keeps touching me with ...
Genie: I am here to grant you three wishes.
Lois: Peter, three wishes. Oh this is so exciting.
Meg: I want a new hat
Chris: I want a new hat
Stewie: I want them to have new hats!
- Permalink: I am here to grant you three wishes. Peter, three wishes. Oh t...
Meg: I can't believe my stupid parents are gonna spend five days following stupid old KISS around! It's painful!
Peter: Not half as painful as a tire iron upside your head.
Peter: I'll miss you!
- Permalink: I can't believe my stupid parents are gonna spend five days foll...
Lois: So Meg, did any of the neighbors see Jeff come over?
Meg: Mom! Come one Jeff, let's go in other room.
Lois: Now Meg, no need to get so testes, uh testy. Nuts, I mean crap!
- Permalink: So Meg, did any of the neighbors see Jeff come over? Mom! Come...
Meg: I'm sure the money clip will be safe in my room.
Stewie: I'm sure it will be lost throughout the pictures of Justin Timberlake or Tom Cruise or ... blast, who the devil do teenagers like ... or Morgan Freeman
- Permalink: I'm sure the money clip will be safe in my room. I'm sure it w...
Meg: Oh, my God!
Mr. Pewterschmidt: He's violating Seabreeze!
Peter: No, no he's just awkwardly positioning himself--oh now he's violating Seabreeze
- Permalink: Oh, my God! He's violating Seabreeze! No, no he's just awkwa...
The moon. There's a reason no one goes there. It's cold. And it's ugly. And it's surface is plagued with deep craters and jagged peaks. Wait a minute, that's not the moon! It's Neil Goldman's face!
- Permalink: The moon. There's a reason no one goes there. It's cold. And it'...
Meg: Chris, quit it! Mom! Chris put his foot on my side again!
Chris: I can't help it. I have these long dancer's legs.
Meg: Move it!
Stewie: Meg, stop your whining. Chris, stay on your own side. Lois, for God's sake, get off your ass and do some parenting!
- Permalink: Chris, quit it! Mom! Chris put his foot on my side again! I ca...
Lois: If you kids don't knock it off, we're not goin' to McDonald's after church.
Meg and Chris: MOM!
Peter: Don't worry. We're goin'. B-B-But you don't get the Supersize.
Peter: Okay, you can Supersize. But no apple pie!
Meg: Oh, come on!
Peter: Okay, you get an apple pie, but you can't blow on it
- Permalink: If you kids don't knock it off, we're not goin' to McDonald's af...
[Meg and Chris are raking leaves]
Chris: Hold it, Meg. Those two are mine.
Chris: That's Randy and that's Fred. Randy's the messy one. Fred's very neat. And when you get them together, whoa! Hold onto your sides!
Meg: Nice to meet you both.
[Meg picks up the leaves and rubs them together]
[Chris chases after Meg and they get caught by Lois]
Lois: Stop it! Both of you! Starting now, you two are gonna love each other.
[Lois makes them hug]
Lois: Now stay that way!
Chris: It's gonna be weird to potty
- Permalink: Hold it, Meg. Those two are mine. What? That's Randy and tha...
Brian: What about the "writing angry letters and not sending them" exercise?
Peter: Aw geez, I wasn't supposed to send those?
Meg: Look, I got a letter from dad! Dear Meg, for the first four years of your life, I thought you were a housecat. Dad!
Stewie: Dear Stewie, get out. Oh, that's nice.
Lois: Mine just says Dear Lois, and after that it looks like someone just spit on the paper
- Permalink: What about the writing angry letters and not sending them exerci...
Meg: Everybody! Guess what I am?
Stewie: Hmm, the end result of a drunken back seat grope-fest and a broken prophylactic?
- Permalink: Everybody! Guess what I am? Hmm, the end result of a drunken b...