Oscar: Where'd you get that kind of money?
Angela: I sold Andy's engagement ring on eBay.
Kevin: Wait, you didn't give it back?
Angela: He wouldn't have wanted that. Her name is Princess Lady!
Meredith: Seven grand?
Angela: Mm-hmm.
Meredith: I gotta see that little bitch.

Angela: Hello, everyone. Oh, ice cream. Nice, Kevin. Looks good.
Kevin: It... yeah.
Oscar: Angela, you're more chipper than usual.
Angela: I am proud to announce that there is a new addition to the Martin family. She's hypoallergenic. She doesn't struggle when you try to dress her. She's a third-generation show cat. Her father was in 'Meet the Parents.' Needless to say, she was very, very expensive.
Meredith: How much?
Angela: Seven thousand dollars.
Creed: For a cat? I could get you a kid for that.

Michael: I would give that lecture a solid B+. Although, for the record, Karen. Wow, kind of mean.
Pam: I like her.
Michael: Really? No, honestly. Tell me what you really think.
Pam: I'm serious. Um, I'm really glad I came.
Michael: Why?
Pam: Because, um, cause I'll never wonder ever again. If I did something wrong and... Now I have closure. She's happy and, I don't know, it feels good.

Meredith: She's got mean eyes.
Pam: Have you seen her with her bangs?
Kevin: She looks like a monster.
Jim: Guys, she is a beautiful movie star, so maybe we should just go to work.
Meredith: She is an amazing actress.
Kevin: That is not the question.
Phyllis: She's not hot.
Kevin: Yeah, thank you Phyllis.
Jim: Okay, okay, okay. Why don't we just put this to a vote, and then we'll be done with it.
Angela: I'm not voting.
Jim: No one cares.

I've had two men fight over me before. Usually it's over which one gets to hold the camcorder.

Meredith: I knew something bad was gonna happen today.
Oscar: You said that yesterday.
Meredith: Yeah, my neighbor got murdered.

Meredith: Enough of this Christmas crap. Let's get some party music. [changes station] Yeah!!!
Michael: Yeah, oh there you go.
Meredith: Yeah!
Michael: That's good.
Meredith: Yeah that's better.
Michael: We're party girls.

Toby: Michael, we are only allowed to talk about Meredith's work performance. We can not ask her to stop drinking.
Michael: I am not asking her to stop drinking. I am imploring her to quit being an alcoholic.
Meredith: I'm not an alcoholic.
Michael: Yeah, obviously you are.

Michael: Okay, how do you feel?
Meredith: A little better. I threw up.
Michael: Ick... TMI.
Kevin: Fire girl! [crickets] Too soon?
Jim: Yeah.

The Office Quotes

Michael: Ah, This is our receptionist, Pam. PAM! PAM PAM! Pam Beesly. Uh, Pam has been with us, um, for forever... Right, Pam?
Pam: Well, I don't know...
Michael: If you think she's cute now, you should have seen her a couple of years ago! [growls]
Pam: What?
Michael: Uh, any messages?

[on the phone] All right, done deal! Thank you very much sir! You are a gentleman and a scholar! [pause] Oh, I'm sorry. Okay, I'm sorry. My mistake. [hangs up] That was a woman I was talking to... so, she had a very low voice. Probably a smoker. So that's the way it's done!

Michael