Gob: Great news! Dad wasn't crushed to death!
Michael: Was there a risk of that?

Gob: And guess what else ... Dad kissed me!
Michael: How? He looked pretty unconscious in that picture.
Gob: I didn't say he was totally into it!

Gob: Dad's gonna be crushed!
George Michael: You don't have to tell him!

Lucille: I've been drinking since before you were born. So if alcohol is the reason I'm here, I got news for you, bub: it's the only reason you're here too.
Michael: Hey, you're mean sober too.

Could we stop worrying about girls with low self-esteem and start focusing on sobering up the woman who gave us ours?

Gob: Well, gee, I didn't think the woman I'd be checking out at spring break would be mom.
Buster: She's better looking than the whores you date!
Gob: Don't call my escorts whores.
Buster: Mom still got it!
Gob: I don't date whores!
Lindsay: Stop it! Stop it! This objectification of women has to stop!
Michael: It's just mom and whores.

Gob: Franklin said some things Whitey just wasn't ready to hear.
Michael: Gob, weren't you also mercilessly beaten outside of a club in Torrance for that act?
Gob: He also said some things that African-Americany wasn't ready to hear, either.

Mrs. Featherbottom: Jolly news, governor. Young Master's proposing.
Michael: George Michael? I thought I told him not to. He said he wouldn't.
Mrs. Featherbottom: Well, this was before he saw you pounding that sweet piece of Veal!

Mrs. Featherbottom: Ok, who'd like a banger in the mouth? Oh...right, I forgot; here in the states you call it 'a sausage' in the mouth.
Michael: We just call it a sausage.

Gob: Nice to meet you. (walks away)
Mrs. Veal: Your family is lovely!
Michael: Does it seem that way? Where's Buster?

Michael: You haven't met my family. You should meet my family. We're going to be having an anniversary party.
Pastor Veal: What a wonderful surprise! We would love to witness a celebration of their love.
Michael: That would be a wonderful surprise.

George Michael: Gangy's having an anniversary party?
Michael: Seems that way.
George Michael: Hey, is Franklin gonna be there?
Gob: See that, Mike? Kids love Franklin.
George Michael: I just don't want him to point out my cracker ass in front of Ann.

Arrested Development Quotes

She sometimes takes a little pack of mayonnaise and she'll squirt it in her mouth all over. And then she'll take an egg and kind of...mmmm! She calls it a 'mayon-egg.' Are you okay?

George Michael

Oh, mercy me! I forgot that we were in the colonies.

Mrs. Featherbottom