Gob: Great news! Dad wasn't crushed to death!
Michael: Was there a risk of that?

Gob: And guess what else ... Dad kissed me!
Michael: How? He looked pretty unconscious in that picture.
Gob: I didn't say he was totally into it!

Gob: Dad's gonna be crushed!
George Michael: You don't have to tell him!

Lucille: I've been drinking since before you were born. So if alcohol is the reason I'm here, I got news for you, bub: it's the only reason you're here too.
Michael: Hey, you're mean sober too.

Could we stop worrying about girls with low self-esteem and start focusing on sobering up the woman who gave us ours?

Gob: Well, gee, I didn't think the woman I'd be checking out at spring break would be mom.
Buster: She's better looking than the whores you date!
Gob: Don't call my escorts whores.
Buster: Mom still got it!
Gob: I don't date whores!
Lindsay: Stop it! Stop it! This objectification of women has to stop!
Michael: It's just mom and whores.

Gob: Franklin said some things Whitey just wasn't ready to hear.
Michael: Gob, weren't you also mercilessly beaten outside of a club in Torrance for that act?
Gob: He also said some things that African-Americany wasn't ready to hear, either.

Mrs. Featherbottom: Jolly news, governor. Young Master's proposing.
Michael: George Michael? I thought I told him not to. He said he wouldn't.
Mrs. Featherbottom: Well, this was before he saw you pounding that sweet piece of Veal!

Mrs. Featherbottom: Ok, who'd like a banger in the mouth? Oh...right, I forgot; here in the states you call it 'a sausage' in the mouth.
Michael: We just call it a sausage.

Gob: Nice to meet you. (walks away)
Mrs. Veal: Your family is lovely!
Michael: Does it seem that way? Where's Buster?

Michael: You haven't met my family. You should meet my family. We're going to be having an anniversary party.
Pastor Veal: What a wonderful surprise! We would love to witness a celebration of their love.
Michael: That would be a wonderful surprise.

George Michael: Gangy's having an anniversary party?
Michael: Seems that way.
George Michael: Hey, is Franklin gonna be there?
Gob: See that, Mike? Kids love Franklin.
George Michael: I just don't want him to point out my cracker ass in front of Ann.

Displaying quotes 121 - 132 of 491 in total

Arrested Development Quotes

(holding stuffed animals) These are my awards, Mother. From Army. The seal is for marksmanship, and the gorilla is for sand racing. Now if you'll excuse me, they're putting me in something called Hero Squad.

Buster

Okay, we are just about ass-to-ankles back here, Maeby. Do you want to hop on your cousin's lap there, please?

Tobias
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