I'm going to have sex with you. For money.

Michael: Keep in mind, we are building something that is not only for our kids, it's also for George Michael and Maeby's kids too.
George Michael: We can't have kids. What's the matter? What are you saying? It's not even an option really.
Michael: Eventually, you'll want to.
George Michael: Sure, I may want to, you know, now. It doesn't matter. Either way, I won't do anything about it. Come on!

Michael: Where is Gob?
George Sr.: Oh, who knows? I don't even know where he lives.
Buster: He doesn't live at Michael's?
Tobias: I've always pictured him in a lighthouse.

Michael: What have I said was always the most important thing?
George Michael: Family.
Michael: I was going to say ... breakfast ... but how about we go over to Gange's and have a little of both.

Jim Cramer: Let's turn to the Bluth's. I love these guys. They beat the treason charges. We had it as a don't buy. Let's bump it up to a risky.
Michael: Risky! There it is! (high fives George Michael) We're doin' it. Are ya happy?
George Michael: I'm really happy. I wonder if we should move out of town.

Michael: Hey, are you scared of a monster?
George Michael: Kind of.
Narrator: It was the monster called lust, to which he had recently succumbed.

George Michael: I mean, I know it's wrong, you know, but my feelings are real even if it was a mistake.
Michael: Well, obviously, acting on those feelings is not an option. She's a blood relative.
George Michael: I know. I've seen the blood.
Michael: How long has this been going on?
George Michael: I don't know ... 53 weeks? I can't be around her with these feelings anymore, and that's why I'm not going to this party.

Lucille: Michael's right. And I, for one, will not go back to wondering whether there's going to be enough food on the table. (Table creaks and wobbles)
Michael: Might wanna start worrying about the table.

Michael: So, it's embezzlement, bribery and conspiracy.
Lucille: And a whole lot of love.
Michael: Oh, right: and perjury.

Tobias: Although, perhaps I should call the 'hot cops' and tell them to come up with something more nautically themed ... 'HOT sailors' ... or 'hot sea-ma'.
Michael: I like 'hot sailors'.
Tobias: Me, too ...

Michael: Don't tell me he's not in Iraq.
Wayne: Oh, no, he is. In fact, he is on the news right now. Turn the TV!
Man on the news: Coming up next: Are bees better at sniffing out drugs than dogs?
Wayne: I'm sure it's coming right up. You see, they won't take all day. (Minutes later, and still not on) I bet it's after these unserious ads. It's like they're always there when I turn the TV on.
Cho: Why don't we go online?
Wayne: Cool your Japanese jets. This is just go -- Uh, it's on!

Michael: So, there's going to be wine at the rehab, huh?
Lindsay: Well, wine only turns into alcohol if you let it sit.
Michael: (to Lucille) How do you come up with these?

Arrested Development Quotes

(holding stuffed animals) These are my awards, Mother. From Army. The seal is for marksmanship, and the gorilla is for sand racing. Now if you'll excuse me, they're putting me in something called Hero Squad.

Buster

Oh, mercy me! I forgot that we were in the colonies.

Mrs. Featherbottom