I'm going to have sex with you. For money.

Michael: Keep in mind, we are building something that is not only for our kids, it's also for George Michael and Maeby's kids too.
George Michael: We can't have kids. What's the matter? What are you saying? It's not even an option really.
Michael: Eventually, you'll want to.
George Michael: Sure, I may want to, you know, now. It doesn't matter. Either way, I won't do anything about it. Come on!

Michael: Where is Gob?
George Sr.: Oh, who knows? I don't even know where he lives.
Buster: He doesn't live at Michael's?
Tobias: I've always pictured him in a lighthouse.

Tobias: Although, perhaps I should call the 'hot cops' and tell them to come up with something more nautically themed ... 'HOT sailors' ... or 'hot sea-ma'.
Michael: I like 'hot sailors'.
Tobias: Me, too ...

Lucille: Michael's right. And I, for one, will not go back to wondering whether there's going to be enough food on the table. (Table creaks and wobbles)
Michael: Might wanna start worrying about the table.

Michael: Hey, are you scared of a monster?
George Michael: Kind of.
Narrator: It was the monster called lust, to which he had recently succumbed.

Jim Cramer: Let's turn to the Bluth's. I love these guys. They beat the treason charges. We had it as a don't buy. Let's bump it up to a risky.
Michael: Risky! There it is! (high fives George Michael) We're doin' it. Are ya happy?
George Michael: I'm really happy. I wonder if we should move out of town.

Michael: What have I said was always the most important thing?
George Michael: Family.
Michael: I was going to say ... breakfast ... but how about we go over to Gange's and have a little of both.

Michael: So, it's embezzlement, bribery and conspiracy.
Lucille: And a whole lot of love.
Michael: Oh, right: and perjury.

George Michael: I mean, I know it's wrong, you know, but my feelings are real even if it was a mistake.
Michael: Well, obviously, acting on those feelings is not an option. She's a blood relative.
George Michael: I know. I've seen the blood.
Michael: How long has this been going on?
George Michael: I don't know ... 53 weeks? I can't be around her with these feelings anymore, and that's why I'm not going to this party.

Gob: (sobbing) You came for me, Michael ... or should I say Robot!
Michael: Why? 'Cause I'm not crying?
Gob: Michael, maybe you don't have enough RAM to understand this, but there is such thing as brotherly love. (Sees Buster) ... What is he doing here?

Michael: Don't tell me he's not in Iraq.
Wayne: Oh, no, he is. In fact, he is on the news right now. Turn the TV!
Man on the news: Coming up next: Are bees better at sniffing out drugs than dogs?
Wayne: I'm sure it's coming right up. You see, they won't take all day. (Minutes later, and still not on) I bet it's after these unserious ads. It's like they're always there when I turn the TV on.
Cho: Why don't we go online?
Wayne: Cool your Japanese jets. This is just go -- Uh, it's on!

Arrested Development Quotes

Gob: Take off your glasses. Oh ... Wait, wait. Let down your hair. No, glasses on, hair back up. Let's just get that hair right back up.
Kitty: Let me turn the lights off.
Gob: Yes, yes, please.
Kitty: How's that? Is that better?
Gob: It just seems like there's still light coming in from under the door.

Lucille: I'll have the Ike and Tina tuna.
Waitress: Plate or platter?
Lucille: I don't understand the question, and I won't respond to it.