Michael Quotes (Page 2)
Season 3, Episode 12: "Exit Strategy"
Michael: So, you just finished off the bottle?
Lindsay: Well, I had to. It's vodka, you know. It goes bad once it's opened.
Michael: I think that's another one of mum's little fibs. You know, like, I'll sacrifice anything for my children.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Gob: (sobbing) You came for me, Michael ... or should I say Robot!
Michael: Why? 'Cause I'm not crying?
Gob: Michael, maybe you don't have enough RAM to understand this, but there is such thing as brotherly love. (Sees Buster) ... What is he doing here?
• Rating: 4.8 / 5.0
Michael: Don't tell me he's not in Iraq.
Wayne: Oh, no, he is. In fact, he is on the news right now. Turn the TV!
Man on the news: Coming up next: Are bees better at sniffing out drugs than dogs?
Wayne: I'm sure it's coming right up. You see, they won't take all day. (Minutes later, and still not on) I bet it's after these unserious ads. It's like they're always there when I turn the TV on.
Cho: Why don't we go online?
Wayne: Cool your Japanese jets. This is just go -- Uh, it's on!
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 3, Episode 11: "Family Ties"
Michael: That might be an older sister that we've never met.
Lindsay: Wow! Look at the beak on that bird.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Lindsay: Well, why don't you just go to Dad and ask him who Nellie is, point-blank?
Michael: So, he can just cover it up and lie? I can't stand to hear one more lie out of this family.
Tobias: Oh, there's the woman I'm sexually attracted to.
Michael: Ok, but that's the last one.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Tobias: Yes. Lindsay and I are planning a night of heterosexual intercourse.
Michael: You can just say intercourse.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Lindsay: Oh, you know what? I've already prepared a list of "won'ts."
Tobias: Oh, you're not going to believe this. My list is of "can'ts."
Michael: Marital love can be so romantic.
• Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
Michael: Gob, listen. Can I ask you a question? Do you remember growing up with a sister?
Gob: Sister? Uh ... No, I don't. Not really ... ringing any bells.
Michael: Other than Lindsay, of course.
Gob: Oh! Lindsay!
Michael: Well, you might not be the most reputable source on this.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Michael: I-I'm not interested in you that way.
Tobias: What way?
Michael: Pick one.
• Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
Michael: (into the phone) Really? And all the guys like her, huh? That is - that is - that is great. Uh, you mean "away," though, right? Because, otherwise, it sounds a little different, but, uh, that's, uh, that's outstanding. You forgot to say "away" again. But listen, let me call you back in a bit, ok? Bye. (to Lindsay) Nellie has blown them all away.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
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Total Quotes: 478