Michael Bluth Quotes
George Sr.: You've got to get me out of here.
Michael: You're the one that said no to prison.
George Sr.: I was wrong. There, you just have to shut your eyes and take it. Here, you have to shut your eyes and give it.
Michael: I -- I was wondering if you might be willing to go somewhere with me? I -- I will pay you.
Rita: ... You'll pay me?
Michael: Not ... Not for sex. You're gonna think that I'm Jack the Ripper, right? Didn't he kill prostitutes, or ...
Rita: I'm not a prostitute.
Michael: And I shall let you live ... haha. This is my worst hello.
Lindsay: You haven't had a serious relationship since your wife, and you guys weren't even speaking towards the end.
Michael: A lot of that was the coma.
Lindsay: Yeah, I've heard your side of it.
Michael: If you're really lonely, maybe it's time you went out there and you got yourself a girlfr.. a pet.
Buster: How about a turtle?
Michael: Great.
Buster: I've always loved those leathery little snappy faces.
Michael: You certainly have a type.
Lucille: He's just jealous that I have a man back in my life. And guess what else is back?
Michael: My breakfast?
Lucille: My friskiness. Mama horny, Michael.
Michael: No, it's my breakfast.
George Michael: I'm just in the middle of a stupid girl problem. That's all.
Michael: I don't even have a girl, much less a stupid one.
George Michael: No, the problem is stupid; the girl isn't stupid.
Narrator: But if they ever had a child, it would be. Because the girl was his cousin Maeby.
Michael: Don't I look kind of British?
British Clerk: Perhaps if you're willing to lose twenty pounds.
Narrator: The clerk was asking for a bribe, but this was lost on Michael.
Michael: You guys do go for the jugular.
George: Are you ready for the bombshell?
Michael: Andy Griffith wasn't the bombshell?
George: I'm a patsy. I was set up by the Brits. A group of British builders operating outside the O.C.
Michael: Don't call it that.
Michael: The feeling that you're feeling is what many of us call...a feeling.
Gob: It's not like envy, or even hungry.
Michael: Could it be love?
Gob: I know what an erection feels like, Michael. No, it's the opposite. It's like my heart is getting hard.
Michael: I'm amazed Dad hasn't strangled himself with his belt yet.
Lucille: Oh, we're into all kinds of freaky stuff.
Michael: Why do I eat breakfast before I come here?
Michael: You seem more villainous than usual, Mom. Are you sober?
Lucille: Michael, it's 8 AM!
Michael: So, it's not that.
Michael: Uncle Oscar can last one more day in prison.
Narrator: Not according to that day's blog at ImOscar.com.
