The Office

Michael Scott Quotes (Page 17)

Michael: When you work for Sabre only one thing matters. And I don't care if you're a loser, orrrrr you practice bestiality. If Jo likes you, you are in. And I .... am in.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: Do I really wanna turn out like Gabe? 26. Single. Tied to my desk. No life no family. I want to have been married by the time I would've turned thirty. That's just... that's just depressing.
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Michael: Oh man, you seem to have caught Jo's eye. How'd you make that happen?
Darryl: I impressed her with my good ideas.
Michael: Mm-hmm! Seriously. How'd you do it.
Darryl: I made a suggestion at the meeting that was good. You were there...
Michael: How do I put this delicately... Does her family owe your family something? In terms of a past injustice.
Darryl: Now Mike I'm gonna have to ask you to leave. So I can learn about this tiny television.
 • Rating: 1.0 / 5.0

Michael: It is St. Patrick's Day. And here in Scranton, that is a huge deal. It is the closest that the Irish will ever get to Christmas.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Kevin: I've done better than Erin! Lynn was hotter than Erin... Michael, you dated Holly and Jan and they were so much hotter than you.
Michael: That is debatable. And I have a personality.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: This is not babu dabu. In this country, a woman can make the choice as to who she wants to date.
 • Rating: Unrated

Erin: I don't want anyone to die.
Michael: Just don't let Kevin sit on you.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: Kevin has an enormous heart. Literally. He has an elephant heart. He had a transplant when he was 17.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Pam's mom [to Pam]: Love you.
Michael [to Pam's mom]: Love you, too... as a friend.
 • Rating: Unrated

Phyllis: I have an ice cream cake in the car.
Michael: Go! Go! Go! Are you insane?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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