The Office

Michael Scott Quotes (Page 74)

Michael: No need for consternation, everything is under control.
Jan: Michael, last Friday one of your employees attacked another employee in your office!
Michael: It was a crime of passion, Jan, not a disgruntled employee. Everyone here is extremely gruntled.
Jan: [sigh] Is Toby there?
Michael: No...
Toby: I'm... here, Jan.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Michael: It was a weird day. I accidentally cross-dressed.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jan: What's this over the "i"?
Michael: It's a heart.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: Beauty. Thank you sir!
Dwight: Salad.
Michael: Thank you.
Dwight: You dressed exactly like the servants.
Michael: Shut up. Ok, change shirts with me.
Dwight: Wait. I don't think yours will fit me.
Michael: I don't care. Oh, wow. Here. Don't put my jacket. Don't give me that.
Dwight: That would have been really embarrassing.
Michael: Yes.
Dwight: Crisis averted.
Michael: Ok.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dwight: Thanks for inviting me along.
Michael: Oh, sure. Really didn't give it any thought. Wait, should you be going? [phone rings] Heh-woh you.
Jan: Michael?
Michael: Hey, Buttercup.
Jan: Hi.
Michael: I am on my way. I should be there in about 15...
Jan: Let's just blow this party off.
Michael: That's what she said.
Jan: Am I on speaker phone?
Michael: Uh, yes you are.
Jan: Is anybody else in the...
Dwight: Hello, Jan.
Jan: Hi, Dwight.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: Jimbo, last chance to carpool.
Jim: Oh no thanks, I think Karen and I will take my car.
Michael: Sure? Might be a good idea.
Jim: Yeah.
Michael: Go in together, could save some gas, have some fun, long trip.
Jim: Thanks.
Michael: Play some games?
Jim: Oh. Um. I think we're good.
Michael: I spy?
Jim: Yeah.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: "Michael, you go to parties all the time, why is tonight so special?" Well, tonight is so special because my boss's boss's boss, the CFO, not his initials, common mistake, is having a little shindig for all the managers in the company. And Jan and I are going as a couple. For the first time. So it's kind of our coming out party. Really. And that is why tonight is so special.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: I cannot tell you how I plan to escape. Other than by using magic. That is the magician's code. Separately, on an unrelated note, if you happen to find a small brass key...
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: A lot of people think that magic camp is just for kids. And that's why so many other people in my class were kids. Self fulfilling prophecy. It's um, it's really for anybody with a dream and a belief in magic and a little extra time after school.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: I love you, Jan.
Jan: Okay.
 • Rating: Unrated

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