The Office

Michael Scott Quotes (Page 75)

Ryan: Look, I'm sorry, okay? I was just trying to do my presentation, and... of course, I was wrong to suggest that Dunder-Mifflin might ever go out of business. But you don't have to fire me.
Michael: Fire you? No, no no. You are moving... to the annex.
Ryan: To the annex? Where... Kelly is?
Michael: A good manager doesn't fire people. He hires people and inspires people. ... People, Ryan. And people will never go out of business.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ryan: It wasn't personal.
Michael: Business is always personal. It's the most personal thing in the world. When we get back to the office, pack your things.
Ryan: Pack my-
Michael: You heard me, pack your things.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: Okay, I'm seeing some confused... faces out there. Let me slow down a little bit. Break this down. Okay. The more stickers you sell, the more profit, fancy word for money, you have to buy PlayStations and Beanie Babies.
Ryan: Michael.
Michael: ...And products!
Ryan: What we normally do here is more of a question and answer thing.
Michael: Well... okay, I was just kind of getting it going. Um, alright. Well, okay, we can do questions. Okay. Very good. First hand up.
Business Student #1: Sir, as a company that primary distributes paper, how have you adapted your business model to function in an increasingly paperless world?
Michael: We can't overestimate the value of computers. Yes, they are great for playing games and forwarding funny emails. But real business is done on paper, okay? Write that down.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: Okay, this is it. Ryan is doing my intro right now.
Ryan: ... Dunder-Mifflin can't compete with the modern chains, and management is unwilling, or unable, to adapt. Their customers are dying off...
Michael: I can't hear what he's saying, but he looks like he's really into it.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: Will they throw their hats, you think?
Ryan: What?
Michael: A lot of times, at a... school, or naval academy, after a rousing speech, the crowd would throw its hats high into the air.
Ryan: You understand nobody's graduating.
Michael: Yeah, I know, I know. I'm just saying if they did throw their hats I've got a great line for that: "May your hats fly as high as your dreams." ... That was a pretty good line.
Ryan: It doesn't apply.
Michael: I understand! Wow. Relax, spazzy boy.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: Oh hey, Kevin, nice of you to join us, where were you?
Kevin: My tire blew out on the way here, Michael.
Michael: Huh?
Kevin: I almost died. I... I went into this skid...
Michael: Pop quiz.
Kevin: ...What?
Michael: Why is today a special day?
Kevin: I almost died.
Michael: Today's a special day, because I am being honored as a... visiting... professor, special lecturer, emeritus... how did you, how did you...
Ryan: You will be a guest speaker... in my Emerging Enterprises class.
Michael: In business school, Kevin. Business school.
Kevin: Wow.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: There are four kinds of business: tourism, food service, railroads, and sales. And hospitals/manufacturing. And air travel.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Michael: They say that your wedding day goes by in such a flash that your lucky if you even get a piece of your own cake. I say that's crazy. I say let them eat cake. Margaret Thatcher said that about marriage. Smart broad.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: Phyllis. Phyllis! Wait! Please. I'm sorry. I just... I just wanted to make this a day to remember.
Phyllis: You found Uncle Al!
Michael: Yeah. Yeah. He's kind of a weirdo.
Phyllis: Thank you, Michael.
Michael: You're welcome.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: I just want Phyllis to have a great day.
Uncle Al: Phyllis and you will be great together.
Michael: We are great together. We are a great team.
Uncle Al: The Celtics were a great team.
Michael: Yes. Yes. They were. Robert Parrish! I should talk to her. I don't want this to ruin her honeymoon.
Uncle Al: Nobody ever helped me. I had to do it myself. Even the doctor didn't know!
Michael: Dude, keep it together. I listened to you for half an hour even though most of that stuff went right over my head.
 • Rating: Unrated

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